In Memory of TrueHellDei

I decided to repost here my original correspondence with TrueHellDei here. I kind of saved it as a memento of her. I kept it private for a long time but now I kind of feel it has to be shared with broader internet.

Maybe it can inspire people for some good relationships. 

Some notes how to read logs.

Who Posted:

Thor – Me, Thor on AC, ThorLL on MAL also known as JJ Master and owner of this blog

TrueHellDei – Her - Emily (Truchel may be)

theOrator – rival dude

SlippingSanity – rival dude

Where Posted:

T – ‘Do you believe in God?’ Thread on Casual Discussions Forum of AnimeCrazy.net website

VM – Profile to Profile conversation, visible on profile.

PM – Private Message, should be private unless someone hacked the account.

Date and time stamps are self-explanatory, US date format.

TrueHellDei T 01-01-2011, 05:15 AM

Quoting certain anime character: 'Heaven ? That has no hold over me.'

I would also tell that all the 'christians' doing good only to be revarded and go to Heaven are hypocrites.

I also agree with CElegant - it's hard to believe. Especially seeing what's really going on in the world. It makes You think that if 'God' really exists, he's only good for nothing and has a sick sense of humor...

However, I'm really not sure if I believe or not.

Thor T 01-01-2011, 05:37 AM

believe, because I exist and I can offer you a place in Valhalla after death.

TrueHellDei T 01-01-2011, 01:40 PM

@ Ora-kun and Chopsticksticky, the short word 'only' I've used in this sentence makes the big difference...so I think You've got me a bit wrong in this statement...

I do not expect 'God' to clean up all human's mess, humans have something called 'free will'...so they shouldn't blame God for the 'shit' they've caused.

Also, I don't see anything wrong in revarding people for good deeds, I've said that doing good ONLY to be revarded sounds a bit 'stinky'...It's like when people wouldn't believe they'll go to Heaven for doing good, they'll stop doing 'good' things at all...or something like that...;P

TrueHellDei T 01-03-2011, 08:49 AM

Originally Posted by Thor

My concept of god it that he is a fictional character in Quran, Bible and other books.

But the question was and is: how is that universe can't be just by itself and something as your concept of god can? Also if your god is omnipowerful then he can come on forum and post here as normal human therefore I'm god. Just because you can't comprehend universe without god doesn't mean he exists and it can't be a proof as well.

I think it's a bit sensless...Not because I'm disagreing with Your opinion but because trying to find the proofs of a mistical existence is pointless. At least typical scientific ones or any decipherable by our(humans) minds.

Also, I'd say that Your concept of 'God' as a fictional character in Quran, Bible and other books is something containing the very essence of it( except for the word 'fictional' which was meant to express Your disbelief here, I guess.) I'd change this word for 'existence which can't be proven'. And I think that not everything which can't be proven is fictional ;P. There can be something which can't be proven now(because of not enough knowledge, equipment etc) and also something which can't be proven becuase it's completely fictional. Well, that's only my hypothetical way of thinking ;P.

Also, every religion involves some mistical elements. May it be 'God' or any creature with 'powers'. It's existence can't be proven(in any scientific or logic way). And that's not the point there. It's something You can 'trust yourself with ', 'love', 'put all the hopes on', have the 'feeling of belonging there', have the 'feeling you're being protected by it'. These all are very strong emotions. They can change one's way of thinking. So religion is something You embrace more with Your 'heart' than with Your 'mind'. That's its phenomenon.

Well, You can also call that 'brainwashing'. And probably, quoting one of my fave anime characters - ' People will worship sardine heads if You give them a reason'. But where 'brainwashing' ends and 'true belief' begins? It depends on how You look at it, what's Your point of view. We humans have a 'free will' so as well freedom of choice.

Anyway, I was just analising this. Your concept got me interested in having that kind of dialouge with You ^_~. I wasn't talking about my own personal religious matters here.

Thor T 01-03-2011, 01:57 PM

TrueHellDei

Well debate here goes from factual perspective: religious people trying to prove that what they believe is fact and only possible truth while me and other Atheists proving them wrong; that is why it is so heated and maximalistic.

Sure not everything is proven even in science, but in science there is clarity in information status: some things are facts, some are hypothesis and so on. And in religion everything is considered to as truth.

Idea of accepting religion with 'heart' rather than 'mind' is actually rather nice because it is more of personal choice rather than claims of absolute truth; not sure whether I can say that I respect their believes but I respect their approach and attitude about believes and therefore in most cases do not criticize them.

While established religions as organizations in most cases are hypocritical tools to control masses and/or equally hypocritical job for cleric, for some individuals religion as set of believes can be helpful and supportive in their way of life; though some others are just brainwashed by clerics or other believers, so religions as whole are rather a double-edged sword for society. Generally non-organized religions are better than organized ones because they lack organization part and generally do not suppose to have brainwashing; completely independent personal believes are even better.

I find you analysis interesting and would be glad to continue our conversation.

TrueHellDei T 01-04-2011, 10:54 AM

I'm glad I got You interested^^ but, You know I was a bit suprised - I thought You'd call everything I've said about embracing religion with a 'heart' nothing more than a brainwashing sentimental crap ;P and You said it's 'rather nice idea' instead xD (altough I'm sensing a bit of sarcasm here) ^_~

If it's a debate between Religious People trying to prove that what they believe is one possible truth and Atheists proving them wrong, then I guess I'll be the third - purely analising side.

So, I wouldn't say that everything in religion is considered to as 'truth'. Well, of course most of religions have their dogmata - some unquestionable, established beliefs. Something which can't be doubted, the very fundamental element. In most cases, You can refer to this term as being equal to the 'absolute truth' in the eyes of 'believers'. That's the only theoretically unshaken thing.

All the matters centered on the 'believer' himself may not to be taken for granted. For example , 'Mr. Momotarou' says he believes in 'God' = his(God) existence may not be entirely 'proven' to him, however he finds it an unquestionable and ultimate truth = dogma. And later 'Mr. Momotarou' says that he also believes in going to Heaven after his death = he's convinced it's possible, but he can't say he's gonna go there for sure. It's more of a 'hope' or even a 'wishful thinking' than something he can be entirely sure of.

Also, I can agree that established religions as organizations can be a hypocritical tools to control the masses, but actually every organization has this potential...That is a pattern as old as the world itself. May it using religious beliefs, violence, human's compassion etc.

But still, even if religious dogmata or doctrine are an 'absolute truth' for the 'followers' and 'believers', I think they can't entirely 'prove' that they are the only ones right and all the rest is mistaken... It's more the matter of a personal choice for everyone else.

I don't consider forcing one's opinion on another a good resolution. I wish for human beings to have more tolerance ;P No hate for those with different beliefs ? ---> Yeah, I might have just seen Utopia...;P

Thor T 01-04-2011, 06:35 PM

TrueHellDei

Well way I talk is commonly depends on person I'm talking: people like Nado, Synergy, Orator or Omega, who came to this thread to enlighten people with absolute truth of their religions and to look down on those who can't understand their truthfulness get harsh hit of facts and sound arguments from me and people like you who do not claim absolute truth and instead talk about why and how people embrace religion can expect some contribution and exchange of ideas. Well it is not sarcasm, may be snobism through; as I said about personal believers:

Quote: not sure whether I can say that I respect their believes but I respect their approach and attitude about believes

Debate is always about what people make it; so far it was heated and factual, now since you are here and they not it is different, if they will return and you will stay there will be two parallel debates of different kind.

For personal believers it depends on every single person how much his/her believes are true and important and how much of established religion he/she embraces, but for fanatical ones of for religions with really strong, rigid rules believes are absolute truth.

Well if you look on Christian concept of Heaven, then while going there is not guarantied idea of existence of heaven is canonically (according to books, tradition, clerics etc.) a fact; but again any single person can think really anything.

Corruption can be in any organization but lesser the organization's accountability, greater its corruption and religions generally don't have much transparency and have too much popular trust.

Fanatical followers can't prove it to you and me or to followers of competitive religions, but they have long proven everything for themselves; that what makes them fanatical after all.

Well competition of ideas is something that makes world move forward: better ideas replacing worse and outdated ones and commonly make their creators rich and/or famous and allow human civilization as whole to reach new heights of development and stories about innovators encourage more people to innovate and challenge; challenge is part of human nature generally. And while it is sad to see you believes and ideas defeated or observe ugly heated debate it kind of way of life.

TrueHellDei T 01-05-2011, 04:37 AM

I think I may be dragging You out of this thread’s main topic ;P xD Just to clarify my intentions - I dont want to be dead serious about this, all I’m aiming for is an interesting exchange of ideas, points of view or hypothesis. Some people can get quickly too agitated/offended/emotional while talking about religion. I’m not suprised that they may be taking it very personally. Well, I don’t find it wrong. I respect that. It can be a sign of a strong 'love' and attachment for what they believe, but it can also make them a bit close-minded, when it comes to that topic ;P

Well, I have my own personal beliefs as well. I wont be talking of these here, because I’m interested in how and why other people think differently about it. So, since I have an opportunity, I shall take it and continue ^_~

First - snobism, huh ? xD I like that kind of honesty of Yours. Second - ' any single person can think really anything ' - I’d say it’s a yes and no. Yes because of a doctrination, and no, because people can interpret one exact same thing in a different ways. May it be, for example, sentences from Bible or Quran. Even if the 'right' way of interpretation is forced on them, it can’t stop them from drawing their own conclusions. So there is some room for their own thoughts. I mean that almost everything in this world is what people make it, so, even such matter as religion - is what believers and followers make it. You can’t say that, for example - every Christian is a fanatic blindly following rigid rules and beliefs. It’s more varied group of people.

I don’t wanna talk about fanatics, they are nothing more but extremists. However‚ saying that‚ the fact they have long proven everything for themselves makes them fanatical is a rather interesting point of view. I’d say that it only makes them a total believers, assured of the rightness of their own beliefs. It surely is something which can led to fanaticism. But, adding overreacting in the matter of their religion, uncritical enthusiasm, mad zeal to that, is what makes them fanatics in my eyes.

Competition of ideas is something that makes world move forward - I agree with that in 100%. But don’t even get me started about 'human nature', I have a very 'bad' opinion about that one ;P

theOrator T 01-05-2011, 07:23 AM

@Thor - wow, I guess I have given you the wrong impression in this thread. I'm actually concerned about it, to be honest. But none of my posts have been a means of looking down on people. I would say that I've actually been pretty accepting of everyone's opinions here. I also wouldn't say I've been hipping people to the "absolute truth" of my religion, but rather to give them an insider's p.o.v. the scriptures and it's meanings. After all, if people like Synergy, Omega, myself, and Nado don't give a different perspective to people who critique our religion, then how is anyone supposed to possibly understand the reason(s) of why we choose to believe?

I'm sure you didn't mean any offense by it, but I wanted just wanted to take this opportunity to clarify that, as I don't want to be misjudged.

TrueHellDei T 01-05-2011, 07:45 AM

Dear Ora-kun ^^, You didn't have to say me that !!! All the words that You referring to were Thor's words, representing his own point of view. I dunno why r You telling me this, since I haven't said a single word about it !!! O.o Also, I'm the last person to judge others, especially in the matter such as religion >.< Besides I clarified everything about what I meant in my first post on this thread. So, once again - I was quoting Thor's words in my own post, how come You didn't notice that ???!!! ;P

TrueHellDei VM 01-05-2011 08:19 AM

yo^^ thank You for the invitation

Thor VM 01-05-2011 09:36 AM

you are welcome

theOrator T 01-05-2011, 08:39 AM

Sorry, guys, I'm sick today and have been doped up on medicine and juice all day, so I'm a little out of sorts. I made the correction though, and I sincerely apologize Dei-chan.

TrueHellDei T 01-05-2011, 08:49 AM

Yeah, right 'juice'...I'd like to know how many parts per thousand it contained ;P

Anyway, apologies not accepted - prepare to have Your ass kicked !!! ;P xD

Or...maybe not, I don't have a hobby of beating up sick people... ;P

Thor T 01-05-2011, 10:55 AM

TrueHellDei

It is fine for us to talk about anything, who are judges anyway?

Well I would say most people really think that they are right and people who don't understand and agree with them are stupid so snobism would be common feeling felling for at least most of them, just many wouldn't admit it.

Some people might even reject some parts or even most of common doctrine, while at eh same time there is not really a room for certain fanatics because even if doctrine allows various interpretations some groups would force same interpretation on everyone especially sects and small dedicated groups within common religions. Overall I think extremes here are more distant from each other than you said.

Well I said that all fanatics have proven everything to themselves not vice versa. Well some really devoted people can be calm but if they have proven really everything to themselves, not just some things and consider some other likely to be true, then they wouldn't be critical about it all and then enthusiasm is all that needs to make them fanatics in peoples eyes.

Bad opinion about human nature, sounds interesting.

theOrator T 01-05-2011, 11:43 AM

There was nothing in the juice, except good ol' calcium and vitamin c. Please accept my apology, Dei-chan, onegai shimasu?

TrueHellDei T 01-05-2011, 11:52 AM

*sigh* it's already accepted ;P ^_~

theOrator T 01-05-2011, 12:09 PM

YAY! I'm out of the dog house! ^_^

TrueHellDei VM 01-05-2011 12:25 PM

^^ Are You sure You wanna get me started on so-called 'human nature' from my point of view ? ;P

Anyway, I'm off to bed for today so good night^^ I'll be responding to Your last post tommorow.

Thor VM 01-05-2011 08:50 PM

Well why not, in worst case we will end up in some heated argument but I think it would go fine.

TrueHellDei T 01-06-2011, 09:50 AM

' Who are judges anyway ? ' - this sentence is an epic win xD

So, You really got me started on so-called 'human nature'...*sigh* here I go then...

People like to think they’re right in almost everything. After some time they really starting to believe in this. And I’d say that ' I’m the one right and the rest is stupid ’ is most people’s common thought. Humans used to add a lot of self-rightness to almost everything they do. They’re convinced they’re the most important beings in world. That they have the right to 'rule' it. I think we’re doing what we do only because we can, because we have the abilities, and opportunity. That’s all. Seriously, I can’t point any other creature who would be more ignorant. Humans are the most ignorant ones. 'Advancing' thanks to the best ability of lying among all living creatures. My own, personal definition of humanity is - "large amount of wasted potential"... Well, I'm not trying to say I'm a saint. I'm definetly not. I'm a human too. I counted myself in the group I’m talking about. Now, to clarify all this - I don’t despise my own kind, I just don’t want to 'glorify' it. And yes - I’m aware that we humans are also full of good traits too ;P Which can give some hopes for the future ^_~ Anyway, I was just speaking about my own point of view, it not contains any 'facts' or 'absolute truth', that’s just my present toughts.

Now, back to the topic - ' even if doctrine allows various interpretations some groups would force same interpretation on everyone especially sects and small dedicated groups within common religions ' - I was only telling that the possibility of a different interpretation exists, same as the possibility of existence of sects and cults forcing their own interpretation on others.

And extremes sure can be more distant here, I was only stating from what point I’ll consider something being an extreme.

Also, I know what You said about fanatics, I understood that ;P (at least that’s what I think xD ) I was only trying to say that it itself can’t be considered fanaticism im my eyes, but sure can be its fundament and can led to it.

Thor T 01-06-2011, 12:27 PM

Many of what you wrote about humans is true, but the biggest problem is who you compare with: most if not all animals do not think beyond simple instincts such as survivability and reproduction, rule and destroy at maximum of their abilities and have no any considerations about their potential and their impact on world or whatever. Also lie works only on other humans so it cannot help against non-humans, it is ability to use and create tools (technology) that allowed humanity to advance. I think either your ideas need some reorganization or you need to tell me more details.

About fanatics: well in a sense explosives are not explosion but only a foundation for it. I think we actually reached common grounds on our religious discussion because I understand your points and there is nothing I would like to add, clarify or counterargument.

TrueHellDei T 01-06-2011, 01:31 PM

About advance - yup, I'd say the same, that's why I wrote 'advance'. I meant something a bit different by it. More like personal gains (for example - material ones).And I'd actually call this lying ability a 'tool' (non-technological one) which humans can use to 'advance' in life faster (reach higher material status etc). And I wasn't comparing - humans do have the best lying ability among all living creatures. Which is a consequence of having best developed brain.

Thor T 01-06-2011, 05:16 PM

TrueHellDei

Indeed lie can help people to advance in society, but not to advance compare to other life forms; animals can lie but because their societies are not that big and complex they can't make too much of it.

But what about comparing humans to other creatures: do you agree that they are not really better than humans or you would like to talk some more about it.

TrueHellDei T 01-07-2011, 10:37 AM

Comparing humans to other creatures, I can only say that there are domains in which humans are more complex and well-developed than the rest. I mean that we can compare only the abilities we share. For example, the ability of making or/and using tools, ability of procreation, ability of communication, ability of seeing or even ability of lying, mentioned earlier. There's actually no way for us to say, that if cats would evolve the way we did and would have a brains that we have, they wouldn't made a better and waaay more complex society compared to ours. That's what I think ^_~

SlippingSanity T 01-07-2011, 10:46 AM

lol in some ways maybe animals have it right anyway. they can lead their simple lives without having to fret over things like religion and politics, they are free and wild in their own way. in my opinion that is just as good as us.

fyi to everyone in this thread, be careful what you use as fact on this thread. just because the internet says so, doesnt make it true *cough cough* Wikipedia. its not a reliable source, so dont use it as concrete evidence

TrueHellDei T 01-07-2011, 11:09 AM

^^ xD sometimes I'd like to be a cat ^_~

Also *cough cough*wikipedia*cough cough cough* - I never consider it a reliable source of knowledge and I tend to frown when I see links sending people there...;P

But I guess that some people r using it here cuz it's the fastest way to give one's general idea about something and make them search for more info on their own...

SlippingSanity T 01-07-2011, 11:20 AM

a cat would be nice, lazy all day sounds nice. id want to be a giant whale, swimming through the ocean it just sounds nice, and i wouldnt have to worry about being eaten, because im so big (exceot whalers) lol.

yea it makes me mad when ppl use wiki for arguments, especially in such a serious thread.

Why do people so desperately need a god. Why cant they just accept life as it is? just live it out and enjoy yourselves, dont spend your time worrying about what happens when you die. thats why i accept the fact that when i die i will end up 6 feet under, it doesnt frighten me anymore. i know i will cease to exist, so i will enjoy the time i have on this planet, the way i want too. sure not all of it may be considered the right way to live but who cares? i watch my anime, play my videogames, hang out with my friends, learn things in college and work. im happy with my life.

i think people use god as a security blanket. they feel insecure so they need to know that someone is looking over them. kind of like a child with their parent. thats personally why i think most people worship god. its a scary though knowing that we are on our own. but we just need to find the strength to stand on our own and live. i think if everyone did that, the world would be a better place.

lol sounding like a hippy

TrueHellDei T 01-07-2011, 11:36 AM

^^Nice vission, but You can always met some humans who'd want to hunt You down...

As for -why people so desperately need God? - my...answering that would take me back to express my bad opinion about 'human nature' again...and this time I should use more details...;P You want me to answer that ?

SlippingSanity T 01-07-2011, 11:57 AM

id be interested in hearing your opinion

TrueHellDei T 01-07-2011, 02:08 PM

You pretty much answered it Yourself. If You're asking me, I'd say that they also need 'God' for making an excuses to what they do. Especially a forgiving one. So that they can think that there's a chance even for their worst wrongdoings to be forgiven. And also they need 'God' to have someone to blame for all the misery in the world. They also like to think that there's someone who'll help them in life, and will do it for free. They like to think that there is someone who's guarding them, cares for them, loves them and he's doing it no matter who they are, also for free. They like to think that they will be revarded for doing 'good' so they need someone who'll revard them. They like to think there's something more than just this 'shitty' life they have here. They also like to add some 'higher meaning' to the things they do. It's easier to accept that the things are happening to You because of some powerful crature's will, and not simly because You suck etc...

Of course, there are also people, who don't think that way, that 'love' God uncondicionally. That think 'God' is 'love' itself. They truly believe and put on all hopes in him. And they just want to share this 'love' with everyone else.

SlippingSanity T 01-07-2011, 02:31 PM

omg we have identical beliefs, thats scary.

i hate when people who love god try to push it on others, i wanna smack them if they are persistent.

TrueHellDei T 01-07-2011, 02:49 PM

xD that's funny cause I wasn't talking about my beliefs in that post ;P

It was just me making examples of what people whould need 'God' for ---> kinda hypothetical way of thinking ^_~

It mostly involved my point of view on a so-called human nature

Thor T 01-07-2011, 02:52 PM

TrueHellDei

Humans are indeed more complex but it doesn't make them worse.

Well if other creatures would evolve then they might have better society but there is equal possibility for them to have worse society, also better and worse in many cases depend on your opinion.

And talk as much as you want and have to say, your ideas are surely worth reading and thinking about even through I often criticize something in them.

SlippingSanity

Quote: hey can lead their simple lives without having to fret over things like religion and politics, they are free and wild in their own way. in my opinion that is just as good as us.

Homeless people also have simple life: looking for food and other stuff in rubbish. Most animals live in constant hunger and look for food most of their time, struggle for power and females with others is also common for most of them

Wikipedia is more credible that some small sources without much reputation because contribution from many people with opposing points of view make articles balanced and there are moderators to prevent vandalism.

SlippingSanity T 01-07-2011, 03:06 PM

lol thats what i meant...................... i think, i hope?

and thor, its all about the simplicity, not the hunger.

Thor T 01-07-2011, 03:27 PM

About god and religion:

Generally god and religion give meaning of life to people who can't find it on their own, give explanation to what they can't understand and all that allow them to relinquish all responsibility for their life and actions and blindly follow their doctrines like sheep follows stick of shepherd. Of course not everyone falls that deep, some select just few aspects

Another type is people who grown up in so strongly religious background who, while can't relinquish their religions in its entirety, try tome make sense of their life, get their own understanding of reality and direct their life instead of following; I met one of them on this forum.

Quote: This is false, and merely the fact that you say it proves your arrogance. God urges us to excel in Science, Philosophy, and all walks of life, and He even states to question him and his message.

well I questioned it and found plenty of people (including you) trying to prove me its absolute truthfulness, what I said is how reality works.

Just couldn't resist.

Quote: lol thats what i meant...................... i think, i hope?

Paraphrased: 'That is what I really meant not what I said in previous post, I hope you will buy it and will have sex with me.'

Come on, obvious tailoring of ideas is obvious.

Quote: and thor, its all about the simplicity, not the hunger.

make your life more simple - become a homeless

SlippingSanity T 01-07-2011, 03:42 PM

raises hand.... question?

how does one have sex with a computer, there are no holes big enough

cmon being mean online is just mean

i meant it as a joke

not necessarily homeless, dont be so extreme. i just like the idea of not being troubled by such complicated issues

TrueHellDei VM 01-07-2011 04:08 PM

They cut off my electricity !!!! T.T !!! TWICE !!! In last 20 minutes ! I was writing a response to Your post and I almost finished it up and then they did it...I was pissed as hell but I started once again, and it ended the same way...Now I'm too pissed to start it over one more time, and it's almost time for me to go to work, so I'll be responsing to You some time later...

Thor VM 01-07-2011 05:10 PM

unfortunate, poor you; I understand and will wait.

Thor T 01-07-2011, 05:16 PM

Quote: cmon being mean online is just mean

being mean is mean sure it is

Quote: i meant it as a joke

and I meant to be mean troll for fun

Quote: not necessarily homeless, dont be so extreme. i just like the idea of not being troubled by such complicated issues

that is why you spend so much time in topics about complicated issues

hmm, question: continue to be mean or not continue?

SlippingSanity T 01-07-2011, 05:32 PM

your meanness will get you nowhere

kindness is better

and its more because im sitting here bored so i respond to every topic

Thor T 01-07-2011, 05:55 PM

Unfortunately you no longer write lines that could have non-trivial mean response so question no longer relevant.

SlippingSanity T 01-07-2011, 05:57 PM

^anyone else confused by that?

TrueHellDei T 01-08-2011, 11:05 AM

Originally Posted by Thor

TrueHellDei

Humans are indeed more complex but it doesn't make them worse.

Well if other creatures would evolve then they might have better society but there is equal possibility for them to have worse society, also better and worse in many cases depend on your opinion.

And talk as much as you want and have to say, your ideas are surely worth reading and thinking about even through I often criticize something in them.

Of course it doesn't make them worse. I didn't say that. I was only saying that it didn't make them better as well. I'd say, more complex - yes, better developed - yes, but not overall better. I meant that, if You want to say that something is better, you need to compare that with something else. Of course it depends on what You compare it with. For example - there are chocolate and strawbery sundaes. You can't say that chocolate sundae is better if You haven't tried a strawberry one. You can't say ' I haven't tried strawberry sundae but the chocolate one is better'. Well You can compare it with other sweets or other dishes, but comparing sundae to pizza wouldn’t make a much sense, since they don’t have much in common. You can compare some atributes like consitency, look, ingredients, nutritional value. But You can’t actualy compare the taste of pizza to the taste of sundae, because it’s on completely different level. Comparing it to chocolate ice is more like it but still, ice is an ice and sundae is a sundae. So, the same I think about comparing humans to other living creatures. You can compare abilities we share, and nothing more, bacause we humans are on a completely different level than the rest.

So, my point is that, all I can say about humans, comparing them to other living beings is that humans are way more complex, better developed, that they are the highest leveled living beings on this planet. And I still wouldn’t call that 'better'.

Well, that’s just my twisted point of view. I’m well aware that, for example - many people would say that humans are better because they have best developed brains, but I would just say that they only have best developed brains.

Aaaaah I’m not sure if I’m making any sense here...and I just really wanna eat sundae now...;P

As for the "if other creatures would evolve the way we did" - sure, the possibility for them to have worse society is equal. And 'better' ‚'worse' depends on one’s personal opinion. And I was just talking about my own opinion. Other people may think something completey different about it. Writing 'better' back then I meant - more complex, more developed than ours, with higher-leveled science and technology, with less wars in their history, less crimes, less killing etc...

Now - " talk as much as you want and have to say, your ideas are surely worth reading and thinking about even through I often criticize something in them. " - that’s one good flattery You know ;P ~^^~

Besides, what kind of dialogue we’d have if You would agree with everything I’m saying and vice versa. And some decent, constructive critique is something that I like ^^ even if I’m the one being criticized

Thor T 01-08-2011, 03:12 PM

Well sure humans are more different from other animals that other animals between themselves so I understand why you find comparison between humans and animals unevenly inaccurate. Human qualities you listed are accurate and even though I personally consider brain capacity important and generally consider human lifestyle the best, I agree that it is subjective and your opinion is as valuable as mine.

I imagine you look happy while eating sundae and it makes me smile.

Sure that your opinion about possible better animal society is valid and even realistic even though probability of it very low.

'Flattery' is a strong word: Do you accuse me of being pretentious or you like complements and enjoy my opinion about you?

Surely our exchange of ideas is interesting, but because number of misunderstandings between us is decreasing with each new reply from either of us, future of our conversation concerns me.

TrueHellDei T 01-08-2011, 03:48 PM

^^ "Wise woman listen to the compliments, the stupid one believe in them" - this is what I think in this matter ^_~

But sure - I enjoyed Your opinion about me ~^^~

Well, we can always find something new to talk about ^_~

SlippingSanity T 01-08-2011, 05:27 PM

im so confused on who was flattering who. there was no flattery going on is there?

thor has succeeded in confusing the hell out of me lol

but that is a good quote

not as good as this one though

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

ahahahaha

kk back to the god topic now before i get in trouble for straying off

theOrator T 01-08-2011, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by SlippingSanity

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

ahahahaha

I rofl'd so hard, that is epic.

Thor T 01-08-2011, 06:57 PM

TrueHellDei

And when I thought that I can approximate limits of your intellect you managed to pleasantly surprise me with such wise and delicate answer, I am more than interested to experience more of your courtesy and sharp mind.

And I don't blame you for not trusting me: it is ok to be cautious, I am often cautions myself.

Something new to talk about: lets talk about you because you interest me greatly. You obviously intellectual, you often observe actions and events without engaging in them, you cautious may be because of your bad past experience or more likely because you analyze and learn from observation and others, you often prefer to be on the middle grounds to taking sides, you are not very optimistic but not hopelessly depressive either, may be you prefer semi formal academia style outfits but most likely casual cloth due to their utility, you probably have good sense of style and therefore should be able to look neater that others in casual and elegant instead of trendy or flashy on occasions and glance of intelligence in your eyes attract attention of rare few people, capable of noticing it. I guess I will stop on this for now.

Because you may find all that barbaric activity in this thread disturbing I would suggest to continue our conversation as VMs or PMs

Last edited by Thor; 01-08-2011 at 07:18 PM..

SlippingSanity T 01-08-2011, 07:03 PM

^ made soda come out of my nose

god that was painful

TrueHellDei T 01-09-2011, 08:11 AM

Well...now I can't hide that this is...unexpected...

I'm firmly suprised by what You wrote, to the point that I'm not even sure what words should I use to respond...

Anyway - thank You - I was pleased reading all that ;P

And I can agree that this is completely out of this topic xD

So I'll try to answer via VMs or PMs

Originally Posted by SlippingSanity

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

Ahahahaha

LOL Your quote indeed is better xD

How about :

Women are able to fake orgasms because men can't fake who they're trying to please ;P

theOrator T 01-10-2011, 02:21 AM

LMAO nice comeback Dei-chan!

SlippingSanity T 01-10-2011, 09:31 AM

lol that one was good

heres one for the mans side

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

so if one believes in god but doesnt worship him, isnt that kind of umm stupid?

you believe in the ultimate being, one who controls your life, yet you dont show him any respect?

btw im atheist im just confused by this point of view

TrueHellDei T 01-10-2011, 10:03 AM

xD I'm always on the man's side !

I came up with the earlier sentence after reading Your previous 'quote'. And I couldn't stop myself from posting it ;P I just wanted to join this little game of 'quotes' xD

As for this one, are You really trying to convince me that men are paying this much attention to the woman's FACE.......xD ;P so here I go:

Since woman's face is her work of fiction, men always look at what's below to find the 'ultimate truth'.

;P

SlippingSanity T 01-10-2011, 10:37 AM

lol thats stereotyping

But men can always find the lies in a woman's ultimate truth

TrueHellDei T 01-10-2011, 10:56 AM

seriously, I was just joking arround ;P

as I said earlier - I'm always on the men's side ^_~

besides, if there's nothing interesting in woman's head/face, then there's nothing else to look at but her...*cough* 'other atributes' xD

okay, I guess i'll cut the spamming here ;P

TrueHellDei PM 01-09-2011, 03:08 PM

Well, responding to all You’ve written in the last post, I need to tell one thing first. I don’t consider talking about me to be an interesting topic ;P I’d prefer talking about You instead. You seem to be a bit mysterious to me. And I can’t tell if You’re just being reserved when talking on the net, and how much of it represents Your personality. The way You express Your thoughts is different than the way any other people I’ve met here do. Even if talking about casual things. That was what caught my attention first. Along with Your smart, decent reasoning in disscusions^^. Reading all the posts in 'Do you believe in God' thread, got me thinking that there’s only 'black' and 'white' in this debate, so I tought I may be able to add some 'gray'. I responded to Your post, and I sure had fun talking to You. Frankly speaking I still have. Especially since You appeared to be suprising and interesting person ^^ And I liked how straight-forward You was, no matter what and with who You were talking. I also need to admit that reading Your last post, I was amazed greatly. You saying that You’re interested in me sure was unexpected but I was more amazed by what You said next. I mean, if people want to know more about me, they’re usualy asking about things like - my name, where do I live, where I come from, favourite music, fovourite food, favourite movie etc, but You went one step further. You were trying to find out what’s hiding behind my words. What kind of person stands behind them.

And based on what You wrote about me, I can tell that You are quite the observer ;P

It’s quite awkward for me to talking about myself, however I’ll try...

It’s true that I observe events and actions without engaging in them. Same goes for observing other people as well. I like to analize. May it be other people’s behaviour or anything else. If it interests me, I’ll be wondering about it, till I find the answer that will satisfy me. I have a bad habbit of teasing people to test their reactions. I was often told that I’d make a good police detective or interrogation specialist ;P xD I use to be cool-headed, cautious and pretty pesimistic, sarcastic and cynical evil woman ;P but I also have a distance to myself and the rest of the world. I’m able to laugh at myself, and I quite often do this ^_~ I had some bad past experiences which may have influence on me, but I am who I am more due to my own choices and decissions. Indeed, I often prefer to be on the middle grounds to taking sides. That’s because this way I’m able to get more informations from the other sides. I’m trying to be an open-minded person. I don’t like schematic way of thinking, schematic way of acting. I don’t like predictable people, and I don’t like when everything goes in the most predictable way...

As for my sense of style, I guess I can’t judge it myself, but I like to believe it’s a quite good one ^_~ The things I really like to wear are - high heels, pencil skirt, various kinds of tunics, button up shirts - classic white and light blue ones but in many different colors as well (i love even the man’s ones-I like wearing them at home ^_~ they are too big but it makes them soo comfortable to wear LOL I may be a man’s shirt freak >.<) I like decent classic clothes as a black jacket or a simple dress but I also love jeans and t-shirts. My favourite colour is dark indigo(that of an eggplant/aubergine) so I have lots of clothes in that colour.

And what attract attention of people is my looks. And I don’t like that because people judge me using that. They’re assuming that I’m a 'sweet 17 darling' and they’re mistaking both - my age and my personality. And they’re always so shocked by either what comes out of my mouth and how old I really am. My personality completely don’t match my looks. I can say it’s quite bad personality...So if there really is a glance of intelligence in my eyes, I’d like to meet more people capable of noticing it...

Thor PM 01-10-2011, 05:49 PM

I am actually pleasantly surprised that you got so open and wrote so much, I thought that you would either make few comments of would infinitely tease me with puzzles and general information in order to avoid telling me anything significant; and I like that you got so open because it makes our conversation warmer and somewhat more trustful. Even though my conjectures about you mostly depend on things I can observe, I would say they are generally about things I find important in person, trough there is more of what is important to me and also some of them just represent my curiosity.

I am pleased that you find me interesting as for your concern about how my words represent my personality and generally about me: I am quite reserved in some aspects and have complex and multi layered and sided both understanding of reality and personality. The following text is rather long, covers your questions only approximately and may be confusing but your questions about me is not easy to answer even though you might wanted to question my words only as hypocrite/honest ones.

Generally I am interested in nature and functioning of different things in the world and try to develop my own picture of reality; I rely on scientific facts to make this picture as realistic as possible but there is not only science in there. Therefore in debates I like both to listen to other people's interesting ideas and to stand by my position be it fact, conjecture or opinion; heat of debate and my respect to the opponent mostly depends on what and how these three are questioned or rejected by my opponent and somewhat less by quality of his/her arguments. You for example do not question facts, can understand my criticism and questions to aspects of your conjectures and opinions and clarify your positions in a way that demonstrates your understanding of it and world generally as the opposite to ability of repeating things without real understanding; you also were and still continue to be polite and that all won you my respect and polite treatment, also that encouraged me to comment on your good qualities which resulted in complements.

Now lets continue about you. Firstly you said you are evil but I don't think you are: I think it is right to be critical and cautious to shield yourself against unpleasant side of the world with cynicism and be tough when situation requires, but it doesn't seems like you do evil because you enjoy make innocent people suffer so your are not so evil after all. I think truly evil people often speak of rightness and try to impose it on others while themselves being vile hypocrites.

About your interrogation capabilities and tests: Should I not trust you either and consider your words as a trial to me?

About predictability: well I would agree that when something unpredictable happens generally it is interesting but if it affects you directly would you still like it? After all unpredictable events can be good or bad with equal probability.

About intelligence: Well, very few people are capable of noticing it and many do not even believe in intelligence without practical application and ask 'If you're so smart, how come you're not rich?' question in variation.

About your looks: But I wouldn't say that girl in high heels, pencil skirt and formal shirt looks so innocently immature, may be it is because of your hairstyle (is it same or similar to as on your avatar?), or these people just use standard approach to all girls or believe that all woman are same, or you just generally look young in any cloth.

And in the end some conjectures: you obviously prefer looks over comfort even though value the latter, you seem having very routine life, you live in intellectual solitude i.e. you don't have anyone smart enough to talk to, you are pretty and you probably like coffee.

TrueHellDei PM 01-12-2011, 04:16 AM

^^ Making a few comments or teasing You with puzzles was something that I planned to do first, but I thought that You’d the same. And wanted to make You tell me more about You as well, so I gave up on that ;P Besides, there are some people I’m open with and there are some people I’m not, as well as there are people I don’t even bother to open my mouth if I don’t have to. Also, it feels quite pleasant to have You curious about me ^_~ I consider You being obviously inteligent and beyond the average person. This makes me somewhat concerned that I may be not the person You’re assuming me to be. And that’s Your fault for saying many nice things about me ;P

So, about me being evil. Maybe evil really isn’t the right word. I think mean would suit better. In fact I do not enjoy make innocent people or any living beings suffer, and totally senseless violence or just plain cruelity is something I don’t like. I also don’t find the pleasure in making others suffer in order to make me feel better. However, I can be really cold, strict and mean. Especially, when I’m in the bad mood. I have bad mouth. So if someone or something si getting on my nerves I can’t stop myself from making a ‚striking’ comment. Well, these comments are on quite cultural level, but they are far from being nice. And I don’t give a damn if someone gets hurt by it. I tend to frankly speak what I think about something, even if it can bring me unpleasant consequences later( for example I always talk about any actions of my company president making him look nothing more than just unsophisticated, overconfident snob, under any acceptable level, everytime it irritates me. And I say it out loud. Sometimes I really wonder how it’s possible that he didn’t kick me out yet ;P) I must also admit that I’m quite an egoist. In other words - I’d call myself a cynical *****...

About my looks - I look young in any cloth. That’s because of my face...No matter what I wear it makes me look immature. It wont change even if I put a thick make up and most mature-looking clothes on me. I still would look like dressed up seventeen in the eyes of others...I have two younger sisters and everytime when people see us toghether, they think I’m the youngest. Also, I even can’t buy myself a plain bottle of beer if I don’t have ID card with me. A few weeks ago, some man I just met in the pub told me I look like 15 years old.....and I quite often have, like 16 years old boys hitting on me....And in reality, I’m long after my twenties.....All the things like that can be really annoying when often repeated...If you want to see how do I look like, I have a few sloppy pictures added here, on my AC profile ;P.

Now, about my interrogation capabilities. Do You feel like being interrogated by me ? ;P I’m pretty sure that You’d notice if I tryed to do it. I think that You’re not the kind of person who can be manipulated easily. However, these are just my words. You may believe them or not.

As for the predictability. I’m still more into unpredictability. Even if it affects me directly and even if it’s a bad thing happening. I’m ok with You calling me a freak for that ^_~Surely I prefer good suprises over bad ones. I’m not a masochist ;P Negative turn of events can bring dissapontment as well. Also pain and suffering. However, my reaction to it is mostly like ‚come on, bring it on ! there’s no way I give up to it !’ I guess I’ll be the last person crying over myself or feeling pity for me. It may sound like I’m emotionless icy woman. But I’m able to feel emotions, like other human beings. I just don’t like to give up, loosing control or colapse because of them. Well, it happens sometimes. After all, I’m not made of wood.

As for intelligence. I’d say that only someone lacking it can say that it must have something to do with being rich. I’ve known many people 'rich' in knowledge and not rich materially. You can also be inteligent and kinda helpless in life at the same time. But yeah - question in variation. Some people lack imagination in many cases, searching material proofs for an intelligence is good a example for this.(...)

continuation in the next one

About Your conjectures. If I’m pretty - it depends of ones tastes and preferences. Sometimes I do prefer looks over comfort. It depens on the situation or on the mood I’m in ;P But I feel comfortable wearing high heels too. I’m sooo used to it. ^_~ It’s true that I do have quite routine life. However, I’m trying to fithg with that. I do not like routine. And I’m not much into coffe, I prefer tea ^_~ In fact I love tea. Especially green one (in many variations). I don’t have anything against coffe, I drink it when I feel like it . As for me living in intellectual solitude. I’d call that me being an alienating snob acting high and mighty ;P but that’s not the case. I don’t have any problems associating with people. But it’s indeed truth that I rarely have an opportunity to enjoy a disscussion with some depth...And this is definitely something I long for.

Now, comparing to all this blah blah blah of mine, You didn’t say much about Yourself ;P So now I’m expecting You to reveal something more. For example - do You have a routine life? Do You live in intellectual solitude? Do You like coffe? ;P ^_~What are the things You like and dislike in life ?

Thor PM 01-12-2011, 10:50 PM

I am also pleased that you are interested in me and happy to tell me so much about you; it is even more pleasing that you even care what I think about you.

Well I actually find us really similar in many ways, while it is clear that it would let us better understand each other, it is questionable whether we would get along with each other's selfishnesses.

Striking comments might be interesting, but what if person comments back: does it evolves into verbal war or stops in some way? What you prefer from person on whom you comment and what you do in different outcomes?

Generally this to certain extend different for me because sometimes I keep things quiet by not noticing some flaws and some other times I try to be polite in telling something negative and finally I am mean in certain situation, I am more mean in debates that in general life; also I am more likely to be mean with people I dislike and more polite with people I like. Also I can't say that your way is alien to me, in certain forms it has its appeal.

You indeed cute. Your face looks young but your eyes give you away because they are way not innocent and immature. Also on your most recently added photo your smile and lips are so 'I don't know what word can describe it accurately, probably there is no such word, but I really like them' and your eyes are filled with mixture of love, hope and sadness in addition to glance of intellect that also presented on other photos because its not a feeling but a personal quality. You also have small, slightly pink cheeks that makes me think that you are slightly embarrassed. Your looks are very interesting combination of innocence and maturity that while contradicting on logical level is fine for feelings. Well sure photo can't give absolutely accurate impression but that what I felt/thought and I like it.

Well I was just teasing you with this controversial question about interrogation, I hope I didn't went too far and offended you.

Your attitude on not giving up is admirable, I would say the same about me even though I often not look like a strong person. I often have things that possible and really concern me my way, one way or another, or some other, and almost always try to. Even though I can stand to challenge I would prefer to not have unpredictable events in my life, I can enjoy only positive surprises only in certain aspects. Generally I prefer balance between stability in certain aspects of life and diversity and changes in certain others; I also prefer to control what diversifies and changes. That is of course if events have significant impact on me, because many things do not really bother me and therefore there is no problem if something like that changes in any way, that is even interesting in many cases. I would not blame you for your life priorities as long as collateral damage from them wouldn't hit me hard.

I am probably even more icy than you because I am very rational and almost always calm or just friendly positive; I rarely show other emotions even though I can feel them.

Well sure intelligence and richness often not related, even though you can use former to get the latter, but many ordinary people can't comprehend intelligence and only can understand material 'proof'; also some consider that getting rich is reason of life and just don't understand those who do not follow it.

About me:

Life is kind of combination of routine and not, at the moment mostly not routine.

Intellectual situation is somewhat similar to yours.

I can like coffee only when I am not drinking it, sometimes I drink tea though but mostly cola and water.

I like things I like to happen and things I don't like to not happen.

Well I guess you want something more informative so:

I like philosophy, history and politics. In history and politics I have may be not comprehensive but good knowledge about many countries and historical eras. Philosophy interests me as approach to understanding the world.

I like various forms of art such as music, pictures, movies and video games and have fairly good knowledge and taste especially in the latter through I am interesting in all of them depend on quality of each song/movie/game/etc.

TrueHellDei VM 01-14-2011 12:37 PM

Hey^^ How are You today ?

I'm in the middle of writing a pm to You. I'll be finishing and sending it later today. I had quite bad and tiring past two days. And I'm having an overwhelming desire of going to my warm bed right now...I'm affraid I can't resist it...

So have a nice evening/night and talk to You later^^

Thor VM 01-14-2011 01:18 PM

Hi, I am fine.

I hope nothing of it is still a trouble for you. If you need my advise feel free to ask. And generally take you time and have a nice sleep, you need it.

TrueHellDei PM 01-15-2011, 09:17 AM

Okay, first - I’m pleased that You’re pleased xD ^_~ And it’s true that I actually care what You think about me. I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe because I find You quite outstanding comparing to other people, maybe because I enjoy talking to You or maybe I developed kind of a soft spot for You ;P

Level of similarity between us is pretty high ^_~ and questioning whether we would get along with each other’s selfishnesses is no suprise to me. I would be very interested in seing the outcome of this myself^^ But I think we would get along with that. I consider myself being very tolerative person and the more I like someone the more tolerative I become. I guess You also don’t have the tendency of being agressive, so probably we would have the acceptance for our egoism. If not...our possible quarrels still would be something I’ll be anticipating to. Even this seem fovourably interesting to me^^

Now, about striking comments. People comments back very rarely. And even if they do, they’re 'crushed' by what is comming from my mouth next. They seem to cant find the right words to counter me. That’s somewhat disappointing, because I like when they’re talking back. I even kinda expect that. I wouldn’t say it’s a verbal war. More like a teasing, the more they struggle, the more interesting it gets. That’s why I don’t like it when they give up so quickly...There were a few people who took the challenge and played this game with me. And there were two men able to enjoy it and beat me at it in the end xD They’re my good friends now^^

Thank You very much for saying that I’m cute ;P and even more for the rest You’ve said about my looks ~^^~I must say that You are the first person telling me that my eyes are way not innocent and immature. Do I have perverted glance ? xD ;P Of course I’m just joking. But what You said is really interesting cause I often heard that my eyes are big and innocent as a child’s eyes. I’m glad You’re seing something different and more than that in them. However, these are just sloppy pics ;P I don’t really like being photographed. Frankly speaking I hate it...These pics were an exception I made for my childhood friend who I haven’t seen for a very long time.

Your question about interrogation was nowhere near being controversial ^_~ You didn’t went too far and You didn’t offend me ! If I would be in Your place, I’d ask exactly the same^^ Also, my reply for that question was also a bit teasing one. It looked like something You’d actually say to an interrogated person to put his vigilance to sleep...;P

My attitude of not giving up is something I needed to develop myself, because of the ‚wind constantly blowing strongly in my eyes’ during my own life. I needed to learn how to get used to that. And if my life priorities would cause a serious collateral damage to someone else, I would rather change these priorities instead of letting this happen.

Everything You wrote about intelligence and richness is very true. I can only add that, I do not consider making money as reason of my life.

I’m glad that You revealed more information about Yourself^^ I can say that I’m interested in history, philosphy and politics too. Speaking of the historical eras, I’m most interested in Sengoku jidai in Japanese history and Victorian era of England (especially in its dark aspects like: underground society, Jack the Ripper’s case and people’s huge interest in occultism back then) So, do You have a favourite philosopher ? And what are Your favourite video games ?

TrueHellDei VM 01-15-2011 11:26 AM

Glad to hear You're fine.

And thank You for willing to help^^

Thor PM 01-16-2011, 04:04 PM

You so nice. And I guess I have to admit that I like and care for you too.

Well some debates are just interesting but some quarrels need to be resolved in one way or another and that is where it could get tricky. So what is your stance in such situations and what you qualify as really important to you?

Well your previous comments about striking comments and being mean suggested that you want to make point with such criticism but your latest one gives impression that you do it as as form of entertainment to yourself and a test to people around you. So can you clarify this aspect?

I seems that you don't like your looks, I hope you don't mind me liking it. And as I said it is love, not perversity. First impression of your eyes are

About interrogation: your analysis falls short of my most recent response?

But you said you life is routine, is it a challenging routine? And you are considerable and kind of self-sacrificing, it is nice.

In history I mostly try to summarize everything into a bigger picture of development of humanity but I am also interested in some particular processes and phenomenons, I have some general knowledge of the eras you mentioned but I think you can tell me more and that would be an interesting discussion.

Philosophers, well I will mention some:

Socrates, because his approach of questioning things and breaking big problems into smaller ones lead is important for philosophy, Atheism and science.

I can't say I completely agree with Nietzsche because some interpretations of his ideas are too radical but some of his ideas are interesting and give realistic outlook on reality.

Freud's ideas helped me better understand people; I think some of them are at least sometimes right for all people and always right for many.

And of course me =)

Now please tell me more about your interests in philosophy.

Video games:

I somewhat prefer strategies more than other genres but I play and played many different kinds of games and generally choose games on both their overall merit and appeal to me.

To name few, well not so few:

Most games by Blizzard

Civilization (especially I and IV)

Europa Universalis III

Heroes of Might and Magic (especially III and IV even though most fans like only one of them)

Legacy of Kain series

Max Payne 1 and 2

GTA series

Assassin's Creed especially second

Space Rangers 2

Medieval II: Total War

Prince of Persia series (especially the very first one, The Shadow and the Flame, Warrior Within and one without second name published in 2008)

well I can continue but I guess I will stop on these so far. Now what about you?

TrueHellDei PM 01-19-2011, 10:08 AM

Wooaah, You called me nice ^^ It’s quite strange feeling, because people rarely adress me as such. I’d say I’m not nice. Not in general. I’m only nice to the people I like(and to cats xD LOL).Well, people often mistake me being polite(which I consider kind of a standard representing the level of the personal culture) with being nice. I’m polite unintentionaly. It’s something I just do. And I’m nice intentionally. To the people I want to.(like You - for example^^)

Well, I’m glad to hear You like me too^^ ( So after we confessed to each other, the next step should be...a kiss ? xD LOL ok, I’m just joking ;P ^_~)

Now, about quarrels. I guess I’m not into quarreling generally. Surely not into senseless yelling at each other. But I like things going my way(that includes making/forcing/manipulating people to do things my way ;P) However the quarrel depends on the person I’m quarreling with. I don’t quarrel with the people I don’t give a damn about, they can just go and do all the stupid things they wan’t, as long as it not affects me. If affects, I demand changes. When it’s a person I care about, but his/her point is just totally senseless in my eyes, I’m trying to convince him/her to my point of view, however if not accepted, I’m not forcing anyone to agree with me, I’m accepting their different point of view and I expect them do the same. So I can get really angry if they’re trying to force their way on me no matter what. I like something called 'the freedom of choice'. And the thing may also look different if it’s a person who I 'love'. So if that person wants A and I want B, then I’m trying to think about C(mix of the A and B acceptable for both). But there’s also high possibility for me to resign from my A totally and accept B to make the person I love happy, if it’s nothing against my fundamental beliefs. If it is, I’m doing A and the person is free to do B. And I’ll try to repspect that, unless it’s something like joining neonazists...

I said my life is routine but I didn’t say I like it. And I wouldn’t call it challenging. More like bothersome.

As for my striking comments - it’s both - I do it as as form of entertainment to myself and I want to make point with such criticism. Depends on situation. But there are some areas when it’s only to criticize - for example - toward people from my country, using our national language unpropperly(by unpropperly here I mean bad grammar, bad sentence construction, distorted words, poor vocabulary etc...) That’s something which always annoys me greatly...

If I said I don’t like my looks that would be lying. I’m aware that I’m quite attractive and it’s a positive thing to me. I only don’t like when people see nothing more than that, or define who I am basing on my looks. I have a strong feeling of rebelling againist that.

Now lets talk about philosphy !^^ Asking about your favourite philophphers I kinda expected You pick Freud and Nietzsche, I wasn’t sure enough about Sokrates LOL I could even bet on that xD However I was a bit amazed that You really picked them^^ You 'sounded' Nietzsche-like to me when I was reading Your posts about God ^_~ And the truth is that I like them too. I like Nietzsche’s way of thinking, even if I can’t agree with everything he was stating. I don’t even mind his chauvinistic comments about women. I personally think they’re mostly truth ;P As for the Freud, he surely had many good points. Most of them indeed hits the spot. And don’t forget about You ^_~ Well I guess that asking You about Your philosophic ideas would be too vague, so I’m gonna ask what are You thinking about some Freud’s and Nietzsche’s theorys.

As for Freud - about one of the most controversial - his 'Penis envy’ theory ;P

As for Nietzsche - about his 'Ubermensch(Overman, Above-Human)’ concept.

I’ll tell You more about my interst and view on the philosophy next time, cause I already wrote too much and it probably make two pm's instead of one...

So, few final words about video games - I like video games^^ I’m a big fan of fighting ones - like Tekken 5(my personal favourite of all times), Street Fighter 4, Soul Calibur 3 (well, I’m a big fan of martial arts in general^^) but I also like strategy ones. From what You listed, I only played GTA and Assasin’s Creed...I also like Kingdom Hearts, Resident Evil, Devil May Cry, Tenchu The Wrath Of Heaven, Final Fantasy, Burnout Takedown and some more ^_~

Thor PM 01-19-2011, 06:53 PM

It is really nice that you want to be nice for me and with me, I really appreciate it.

Kiss would be really nice but what about distance? Well before we will find solution for distance problem I would imagine kissing and hugging you if you don't mind.

You mean 'senseless' as 'purposeless' or as 'impolite'?

Generally I think that if our lives and relationship will not be integrated in many aspects and each of us would have plenty of freedom and personal space it would have good chances to last long. As for me if I care I still do not interfere much with other people's lives because I value freedom so much, so I might suggest or ask you to do something but I will accept if you don't, though it would make me happier if you do. On the other side I am very protective of my personal space never like any interference with it; while you may ask or suggest things you should understand that in my life final decisions up to me. I like mutually acceptable compromises and often come up and offer them but closer thing to me more likely I will want it entirely my way. So feel free to ask, sometimes I might make even something big for you depends on what is it, but never insist. Because of our similarities in level of intellect, selfishness, persistence and love for freedom I think that egalitarian relationship with respect to each others freedoms and refrain from using manipulations against each other would be the best and only working for us; I would consider you objections or comments if you have any.

'challenge' is neutral word not positive, so there were no reason for you to consider that I was implying positiveness in my previous statement.

Well, despite previous paragraph, I am not so dedicated to language general accuracy but I find it important to point out inaccuracy in meaning because otherwise there would be misunderstanding.

Thor PM 01-19-2011, 11:19 PM

About philosophy: First of all I am really disappointed that of all topics you decided no to talk much about this one, because it can say a lot about personality, values and understanding of reality. Why you don't want me to learn more about you?

About women: do you think it applies for majority of women excluding you or to you personally?

Freud's Ubermensch has plenty of different interpretations so I think it would be good to specify what Freud meant or at least what I think he meant. So it is mostly about materialistic human self-understanding as opposite to spiritual one. Freud considers religious people, who just quietly living their lives under the oppression form strong ones with hope that in the afterlife god will punish their oppressors, inferior to the oppressors and emphasized that one should try to be better in real world instead of hoping for justice and better life in the afterlife, he also said that is one of possible goals to humanity overall.

I and I think many if not everyone can agree with Freud that self development is surely way better for individual compare to religion emphasized weakness and acceptance of fate. As for will society overall will be better off as Ubermensches or as slaves to god than there are a lot of aspects to consider.

For example religion apologists might argue that religion brings moral that make society better but I think it is a facade not a real piety; even without religion good people would do good things and bad would do bad with any religion; universal acceptance of religious moral gives people illusion of security while in fact malicious people just made false pledges and will continue their malice that would be even more efficient against unsuspecting commoners. Of course it is not comprehensive coverage of religions influence on people and we can elaborate a lot about details but I think general idea is quite accurate.

Also religion bring inner peace to many people via its illusion, but life in this myth has questionable advantage even for them personally, because despite all their believes reality stays same and closing eyes while would make them less scared would not protect them from danger; as for society overall I don't think it is good to encourage its members to be weaker and more stupid.

Finally slaves require master(s), even if there is no they would seek one; so there are some either by chance or very commonly by desire and effort that control and command all these slaves; therefore in these societies you either in command or with the rest of the slaves, and if you dissent master would eventually eliminate you in the name of god if not because consideration of you as a challenger for him then because slaves would not be able to comprehend you freedom and would consider it against their rules(god) and a bad influence. So many and you would either be brainwashed or forced to accept it hypocritically and do what you don't want/see reason/whatever you opinion is to do and claim adherence to things you dislike/detest/whatever your opinion is.

As for modern societies that in western countries they are somewhat mixed which is not too bad because it allows freedom and development. And in non western it differs.

Overall I think that Ubermensch is a good goal for humanity because it encourages development and achievement and with right framework of facilitation and discouragement of different activities it would allow humanity to keep developing further and further towards better future. Also it is allows and leads to more honesty and less hypocrisy. I wrote so much and still think I omitted a lot of details but I think that the text above still explains general ideal; if there are some unclarity feel free to ask questions.

As for 'Penis envy’ theory, you asking it simply because you have strong unfulfilled desire for penis

Well seriously I don't think that stages of Psychosexual development that Freud outlined are so universal but I think that they can apply to many people, because with lack of contacts with general society people commonly develop sexual desire towards those who are nearby and in case of children it is commonly one of their parents. Also despite the name stages are fairly similar for both genders. Also Freud is Jew and in their culture love to mother is something really important and very common so he might got influenced by his own experience.

Girl's desire to have penis is just one of these stages and not something permanent.

Now it is your turn.

As for video games: it seems that we have really different tastes in both genres and games (I played only Resident Evil (I think 4 but I am not sure) from what you listed) so we can either describe different games to each other or discuss GTA, Assassin's Creed or Resident Evil but I think that philosophy is more interesting.

TrueHellDei PM 01-20-2011, 01:39 AM

About philosophy: First of all I am really disappointed that of all topics you decided no to talk much about this one, because it can say a lot about personality, values and understanding of reality. Why you don't want me to learn more about you?(...) I think that philosophy is more interesting.

Heeey, wait a minute ! I don't know where in my words You found impression that I don't wan't to talk about philosophy ???...I said that I want to and have so much to say in that matter that I need to write new pm(or more) to You about this matter. I think that philosphy is one of the most interesting topics to talk about with You ! So You better be prepared, because I'm gonna write You really loooooooong message about it ;P ^_~

Thor PM 01-20-2011, 06:49 AM

I meant in that message not generally, I am waiting for the message with great interest.

TrueHellDei PM 01-22-2011, 12:01 PM

So, I’m gonna start from women. It may sound all high and mighty but I don’t think that I’m like most women. (and I was very often said that I’m not by men;P). I’m not writing it to compliment myself, but to point that I am and how I am different. Well, I am still a woman so I’m not that exceptional, however slight differences are following:

First - I’m not trying to glorify my sex. I’m well aware of our(women) bad traits and I’m not trying to hypocritically deny them. And frankly speaking, I don’t like women(in general) and I don’t quite like being a woman too ;P I could write an essay titled 'Why I think that being a woman is ****ed up' but I’m not sure if You would wan’t to read it ;P (if You’d be interested I can reply to that any time).

Second - I’m always on the men’s side. I prefer men over women(in general, not only sexually). I consider them more interesting and valuable in many aspects, also intelectually(I’m wondering how many feminists would kill me for that statement LOL). But the truth is that 90% of my friends are guys and I have only one female true friend. But she’s my best friend or even more like a sister to me.

Third - I must admit that I am a tomboy. I like footbal/soccer(I was even trainig it a bit some time ago), martial arts(I was training kickboxing back in my high school, and now I’m training kendo, however it’s more like recreation to me) and also sport in general, video games, beer, action/war movies etc and really don’t like shopping, talking about clothes or cosmetics or make up, watching romance oriented movies ot tv shows(because most of them are really not interesting and bad)

From typical women’s ailments I have only two. I like shoes(especially high heels) and sexy lingerie ;P

So I’m gonna continue with 'Penis envy' now xD. I was asking just out of simple curiousity but now since You’ve mentioned it - I guess that in fact I do have unfulfilled desire for penis (Ooooh myyy, how ambiguous ;P LOL! I mean - I’d like to have one=I’d rather prefer to be a man and not like I’m a sex addicted xD) Well, I do not strive for reaching for men’s positions in life(or something like 'power' attached to that) It’s just simply that I like men better so I’d prefer to be one too ;P But it’s not an obsessive thought xD. I wouldn’t go and change my sex by surgery. I accept myself as a woman, but sometimes being a woman is pissing me off and I have thoughts how I’d prefer to be a man ;P

But, going back to Freud. I also don’t think that Freud’s stages of Psychosexual development are so universal, same goes for 'Penis envy' which is one of them. For exaple, I think that Electra Complex can’t exist in family with no father, same goes for Oedipus complex in family with no mother. Well, child can easily place his/hers sexual attraction on some other adult if there’s no such parrent. Let it be a homeroom teacher or other relative. But there wont be much of rivalisation if this person is a single. There’ll be no female/male adult to be envy of. I’d even say that all this about 4-6 years old’s interest in parrents or other adults of different sex have much more to do with kid’s strong desire to monopolize and tendency to mimicikng adults than with behaviour described by Freud. More over, the most deniable part for me in all this is Frued’s concept assuming that girl’s sexual interest is first developed toward her mother. And later placed on the father. I think that little girl can be interested sexually in her father even before she fully notices anatomy difference. It can be just because of mimicking her mother’s behaviour and strong desire to monopolize her father just for herself. It can make her envy of her mother and cause Electra complex as well. I think that it mustn’t even be a sexuall attraction at first. That kind of interest may come later along with her own sexuality realization. I’m also not much into concept saying that girl’s sexual selfconciousness starts with realisation that she doesn’t have a penis. I think that what she’s interested first is herself and her 'thing'. I mean, that medicine knows cases of a 4 years old girls masturbating. They didn’t know what penis is for or what it is like to have sex or even how boys are different anatomically, but they already were doing it to themeselves purely for the pleasure and they were doing it intentionally. So summing all this, theory saying that the penis becomes the organ of principal interest to both sexes in the 'phallic stage', gets no from me.

As for the Ubermensch, I view this theory as a bit more controversial than You ^_~ Well, I’m not gonna to interprete it in such vulgar and tasteless way that Nazis did long time ago. By the way - how great irony is that Nazis took concepts of a man who hated Germans, hated Germany, hated anti-semitism, annulled his Prussian citizenship and claimed to have polish roots. Anyway, I can agree that it’s a goal that encourages development and achievement, that is a life-affirming and progress-affirming goal, a denial to hypocrisy(especially a christian-made one), denial to nihilism. Also, I can agree with everything You wrote about it in Your last message. However, I see a bit of Machiavelism in it ;P That’s because it’s very universal. It suits ruthless tyrants too. The outcome of it may also be absolutely not humanitarian and only progress and future life-affirming, don’t giving a damn about the present. A total 'the end justify the means'.

And now a few words to point what interests me and what I’m looking for in philosophy. I’m interested in this life we have here. What’s its purpose? What’s its meaning ? Is it any purpose or meaning to it at all ? Why we are here for? What’s life’s worth in itself ? What human is ? What is his true nature ? How this world works ? I’d like to know what other people through the ages were thinking about it. And I really like Nietzsche’s ‚brave’ and controversial thoughts, regardless how pessimistic they often were. I’m also looking for posiblle answers to these questions in literature. And I just love Fiodor Dostoevsky^^ My favourite book telling a lot in that matter is Fiodor Dostoevsky’s "The idiot" (Actually, this is my favourite book of all times as well, I love it to death ^_~)

Now, about other stuff. I don’t mind You imagining kissing and hugging me ^_~ Ater all, You have this comfort to know how I look like so it’s easier for You to imagine that ;P As for my 'senseless' I meant 'puroseless' and thought of a word 'challenge' as possitive because I mostly like challenges, but it’s true that the word itself is neutral. And about my national language accuracy - I'm quite obsessed about it because the harsh truth is that my national language is dying...The way people speak in my country nowadays is unaccepltable. It’s so pathetic, it’s tragic. They can’t even build a gramatically and logically correct simple short sentence. And vocabulary the most people have here is poor beyond any imagination...It’s very sad...Well, at least it’s sad to me.

I think I end it here for today but before I’ll do it, I’d like to ask You something. Can You tell me Your name ?

Thor PM 01-23-2011, 08:19 PM

You arrogant like me, but differently arrogant: stronger but narrower - superior to other women (Uberfraulein). Martial arts are quite unexpected but what is much more interesting is that you want to be man, but at the same time you don't want power or to change sex and you sexually attracted to guys so what is it you want? And what troubles you in being women that you cannot overcome (I mean you can do what you like to do and have whatever friends you like both as man and as women): is it social pressure, or PMS, or something else?

hmm, I like women in sexy lingerie. All that sounds like you are a dream woman for a typical man: you don't have most annoying women's habits, you like what many guys like, you look really cute and have good taste in cloth and underclothes; if you like different kinds of sex it would make you ideal girlfriend and if you can cook and clean at least sometimes than even cohabitant or wife. So with all that you should be able to get almost any typical man if you are really looking for it, but probably you don't looking at least for a typical one, that all makes you a really interesting person and me even more eager to get answer to my question about what you want in life; I think that would be something really unusual and please be detailed.

As for my interests then generally they are not stereotypically male of female, but mostly male and somewhat stereotypically nerdy and elitist, but I guess I am not a complete nerd and even elitist. I am not much into sports: my favorite sport to play is chess (excluding video games sports) and to watch I guess Formula One. I like video games as I said, don't really drink alcohol, don't like shopping much and don't generally watch TV. As for movies, I mostly like them for interesting story, non trivial characters and depiction of interesting ideas. Good action is surely good as well as anything else good.

As for Psychosexual development: I think that in many cases sexual desire in children starts subconsciously so person do not realize why he/she is attracted to someone, I think Freud meant that even though theory do not states it explicitly. As for masturbation it is mostly an instinct and a part of procreation instinct that originally do not meant to lead to masturbation but ended up doing so. And generally I would still go with my idea that Psychosexual development is different from person to person and mostly based on experiences and personality; stages, that Freud described in his Psychosexual development, happen to certain people, but overall sequences are not really relevant, especially nowadays. Also in Freud's time society had way more traditional families with women staying with kids/in the kitchen and men working, so kids of both sexes seen mother way more often therefore it was logical for Freud to consider that both of them would at first be interested in mother. Overall Freud's theory was way more relevant to the time and society he lived in.

Ubermensch: Well Nazi just borrowed a word and tried to tailor theory for their needs to win more support. It was a good plan for Nazi to make up or tailor something philosophical to back their ideology and despite irony, for justification of ideology it didn't really mattered what Nietzsche really meant.

About tyrants: while Ubermensch theory may be morally justifies tyranny but what it doesn't justify or explain is why that tyrant should have power and why others should obey him. So tyrant wouldn't not be able to keep power long enough because when other people would realize that rule of a tyrant against their interests they would overthrown him/her. If you will look on various past and existing dictatorships then you will see that they are based on some ideology that justifies their rule with some reason, there were no tyrants that just walked out and say that they are tyrants they all pretended that they serve god/people/workers/senate/whatever and do everything in people's best interest. Masters need slaves because that is what makes them masters in the first place; there can be no tyrants if there are no followers. Also tyrants and Ubermensches were way before Nietzsche and still will be even if his thoughts would be completely destroyed from everywhere.

Also to prevent tyranny and encourage people to be better to each other it is important to emphasize the idea that in society where everybody good to each other in the long run would be more beneficial for every single person, because many tyrants and other sneaky people of the past ended up being eliminated by similarly sneaky means by their opponents and those who managed to survive still lived in constant fear and suspicion that is how they would end up if they will try to use sneaky methods or try to establish themselves as tyrants. Members of the tyranny always end up living very unhappy life regardless of how good being a tyrant may sound before it began. Surely society of Ubermensches requires high intellectual level from its members, but hat is what most important in being Ubermensch.

Also, I totally forgot Machiavelli - he is also one of my favorite philosophers; not because I would like to follow his guidelines for being a successful prince but because he covers how things really work.

I don't think Nietzsche's views are pessimistic because they only shows what life really is, and even suggest possible better alternative.

As for Dostoevsky's Idiot: what exactly you like in this book, what characters and what do you think is the major idea of the book?

About kissing and hugging: You sound like you don't like it and sacrificing your body for my pleasure; I said I like that quality of yours, but I still wonder why you dislike these things? Also I would imagine kissing and hugging you even without photo and I wonder how do you think I look?

And I think having you real where I am would be nice too, but I am not sure whether you would sacrifice that much for me: you don't talk about it.

I wonder why you want to know my name, do you think that you know me from somewhere IRL or something? Also you should tell me your name in return or even better in advance.

TrueHellDei VM 01-26-2011 01:34 PM

Hey, how are You^^ I'm somewhere in the middle of my pm to You. It should be ready soon. You sure asked me some tough questions in Your last one ;P ^_~ but they were all 'good' questions as well ^^

Thor VM 01-26-2011 02:12 PM

I am fine, how about you? Well some questions indeed difficult, but I like that you like them.

TrueHellDei VM 01-26-2011 02:31 PM

Thank You, I'm quite not good lately. I'm a bit stuck into gloomy mood or something like that...>.< Well, I'm glad You're fine, and exchanging pm's with You makes me feel better so I should be ok too very soon ^_~

Thor VM 01-26-2011 03:23 PM

What troubles you? I might be able to help you. Of course it is nice that you like PM with me, I like it too; and it is appealing to me that I can make you happier.

TrueHellDei VM 01-26-2011 03:49 PM

You can make me happier because I have a huge fun talking to You xD I mean, there isn't many people I can talk about stuff I'm talking with You, so I'm always like very excited while replying to Your messages ;P

And thank You for Your concern again^^ I guess my current state is nothing demanding deeper discussion but if situation will change I'll let You know.

I'll be off for now, so till the next time^^

*hugs*

Thor VM 01-26-2011 05:50 PM

*hugs back*

May be I am interested not only in talks, but talks are big part of what interests me in you; not just because that was the first thing that attracted me to you, I generally like interesting, intellectual conversations and you are very interesting and smart as I said before.

And you are welcome to ask for help.

Have a nice morning/day/evening/night.

I am looking forward for your next big message reply.

TrueHellDei PM 01-28-2011, 08:29 AM

According to social etiquete woman should intoduce herself to the man first, so I guess I’ll go with - I’m pleased to meet You (since I didn’t say that yet ;P). My name is Emily.

Now, lets start from this sentence of Yours: "You arrogant like me, but differently arrogant: stronger but narrower - superior to other women (Uberfraulein)."- is that supposed to be a compliment ? If not, it still is the best compliment I’ve ever heard ;P xD

So, what troubles me in being a woman. Surely not so-called social pressure - I don’t give a damn about it, nor the PMS since I seem to not have much of typical difficulties connected to that. I’d even risk saying that I don’t have PMS at all ;P However I still think that being a woman is more troublesome compared to being a man. Lets take the case of the looks for example. We women need to pay much more attention to that than men. Somehow we always end up concerned about not to gain a few pounds to much or our skin/hair/wardobe condition. Well, You may say that nobody force us to doing it. But none of man would pay attention to unatractive woman, even if he’s looking for something more than just apperance, that what draws his attention first, is the look. Well the woman has the choice to do what she wants in this matter but I bet that any woman with some pride wouldn’t allow herself for a totally unattractive apperance(unattractive in her own eyes). For example I don’t like depilation, because it’s quite painful, annoying and takes a lot of time but I wouldn’t allow myself for not doing it because smooth skin is a must for me. And I feel somewhat obligated and forced to do it. That makes me envious of men who doesn’t have such problem. Same goes for being envious of most men’s faster and better metabolism. I shouldn’t be writing about menstruation being a pain in the ass since I have problems like stomach ache because of it about once in a year, but the fact you have it is a pain in the ass itself, no matter how You look at it. I also think that we women have a bit different way of thinking than men. And by saying it I’m taking a difference of personalities of both genders onto consideration. I still think that women, no matter the personality, think a bit differently than men(no matter the personality). And I’m talking about completely unlogical, unreasonable useless and truoblesome way of thinking here. Well, I think that we are way more troublesome creatures overall. That’s why I’d prefer to be a man. I find men more valauable. I think that most waluable in being a woman is that she can complement a man. But there’s one exception in this sentence - I don’t consider every male being a man. And in that statement You can find an answer to the question why I don’t go for most guys ;P In other words, what troubles me in being a woman is 'woman’s ****ed up mind' or maybe it’s only my own '****ed up mind' and I’m simply making excuses that I have it cause I’m a woman? Who knows ;P

Now, about my relations with men, would You believe if I say that most of men I know can’t handle me? The fact that I really like guys a lot doesn’t mean I’d give myself just to anyone. It’s very easy for men to be friends with me, but to advance to higher level need some more effort. Well, I like to flirt( a lot ^^ ) but I'm not easily impressed. I may seem open, nice and very easy to talk with but when it comes to certain areas I'm quite unapproachable person. I'd say that I have a lot confidence in being able to see trough people and not let others see trough me. Let's be honest - I am an evil woman. Seriously. Cynical and sarcastic. I already said earlier that I like to play with people, especially with men who seem to be interested in me. I'm teasing them to see how they'll react. And I don't like obedient ones. But they usually give up so quickly and I have no fun at all. I like when people are slipping away my predictions and calculations. Also, I wont truly acknowledge a man unless his personality is 'stronger' than mine, or unless he really impress me with something else. It's kinda like I won't hand myself over without 'fighting', so if one wants me, he must use 'force' and 'overpower' me. Well, sometimes, I'm having crushes. It's something I can't control and can’t help it and it can be really troublesome too ;P At a times like this, I'm already 'overpowered' to begin with. That's why I need to be extra cautious (cooling my head 20 times at a day and trying to control my emotions ;P) because the 'object of affection' may turn out to be an idiot...However, there's some 'kind' of men I'm susceptible to ;P (and they're seem to be inteligent&cool&quite‚naughty’ ones....;P) And I like men in a decent suit ~^^~ xD LOL All that I said till now was about the 'first step' to make me fall for someone, not about relationships. This subject is more deep and difficult to explain. I was just telling that I'd like the person who wont be affraid to oppose me or face me when needed. Someone who'd know how to handle me(and I may be not easy to handle...)But I don't like being dominated. On the contrary, I have a strong desire to dominate. Also a habbit of making everything on my own, without relying on others( I wont be asking for help, no matter what). But I’m aware that there are times when I neeed to be dominated( I need someone to stop my greedy, egoistic actions, someone who'll kinda save me from myself ;P)

And all this looks different when I have a 'special feelings' for a man. He’s able to soften me and my behavior can be totaly changed...But I can't choose the person I'll have crush on/fall in love/like/care for/whatever You'd call this...I can't tell who'll be the next or when it'll be...And I kinda still can't build a relationship with someone I don't have any 'special feelings' for...I'm not interested in being toghether just because I don't have anyone or for material gains or just for sex. Well, it would be nice to have someone, at least for the sake of my sexual needs I just mentioned ;P xD But somehow when I happen to reaaaally like a man, he's already married or there are some other serious complications...I think I completely have no luck when it comes to that. Or maybe I’m expecting too much?

"About kissing and hugging: You sound like you don't like it and sacrificing your body for my pleasure; I said I like that quality of yours, but I still wonder why you dislike these things?" - what makes You think I dislike these things? I’ve already imagined hugging and kissing You myself ;P LOL I was only pointing that You know how I look like and I don’t now how do You look like. It’s not something very important, as You see I can imagine hugging You without knowing how You look, but I was interested in knowing cause You’re interesting person in genereal to me. That’s making me a bit curious about this matter as well, but I really hve no idea whatYour aperance is like. I only have some stupid thoughts that You’re wearing glasses, however I can’t explain why...o.O

As for me wanting to know Your name, I’m curious about it, and I’d really like to know it. Maybe even something more than that...somehow, knowing Your name is strangely important to me...I can’t properly explain it, like it would make Your existence more 'visible' in my reality or getting me 'closer' to the real You or something like that...

Now, the toughest question - what I want in life. It’s really quite hard to answer that (I’d even say - hello - You’re asking that a woman - the most undecided being in world ;P). However, at the point in my life I’m now, I should not only know the answer but also doing it, and I still can’t say that I know it for sure. Well, I’m trying to fulfill my dreams and aim for things that’ll bring me satisfaction but...still...I think it's not the whole point here. Tough I seem to know what's this life thing is about, sometimes I have a feeling that I can’t get a full gasp of it...Almost as if I'm existing separated by an invisible wall. Day by day, I'm trying to do things my way, moving forward, being honest with myself, all regarding to my own rules, so that I can't be disuguised with myself. However I surely wouldn’t call myself a 'saint'. I guess I do not value my present way of life much. And it's not like it makes me especially unhappy. I only think it's nothing special. Even tough there are moments when I'm thinking that being here, seeing a sunset, blooming cherry threes in spring, shining full Moon(I LOVE the Moon^^) or a starry sky and having a brain able to realise the beauty of all these things is a bless. But, I'm not a person with the courage for constant positive way of thinking. Nor even a person with the courage to simply withdraw into my shell. However I like challenges. I look how reality is thrust before my eyes, harsh, merciless, and I’m taking actions according to that. Sometimes I’ll feel like walking in circles, while doubting the very ground beneath me, so I’ll react in order to change it. I guess I can say I’m trying to make my life worth living. And as long as I can't tell for sure what is gonna happen tommorow, I find this life interesting. I guess I can quote Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and say that my life is "a constant attempt to escape from places of banal existence." And I might be also often folowing some of Jean-Paul Sartre’s concepts in my life. (I forgot to mention that I also like this philospopher too). He said that people are like a dice, we throw ourselves into life. We can choose direction in which we want to throw ourselves. He also said: " Thus, in living our lives, we often become unconscious actors—Bourgeois, Feminist, Worker, Party Member, Frenchman, Canadian or American—each doing as we must to fulfill our chosen characters' destinies." I don’t want to be like that, I’m not a 'social' or 'occupation' or 'nationlity'. I’m me, I’m myself. And I’m trying to find my own balance in all this. That’s all to it. And I’d be content when at the end of my life I could say that I had a few 'bad ass' moments in it, a few exteptional moment which made my life worth living(or at least one ;P). That’s pretty much my answer now, I hope it’s pretty much detailed and not a disappointing one.

Now, I also think that having you real where I am would be nice too ^^ I’d really like to have a chance talking with You face to face. I’d really like to meet You in person.

I guess we have reached quite common ground on subject of Freud’s Psychosexual Development theory and Ubermensch concepts.

As for Dostoevsky’s "The Idiot" I’d recommned You reading the book Yourself^^ It’s a story revolving around Prince Myshkin - a man who shows and gives his goodness equally to everyone, no matter the person, no matter the circumstances, no matter how despiceable the person may be. He’s like a 'saint' in a world obsessed with power, money,and sexual desires. Funny thing is that he seems to not be naive or stupid. He’s well aware of what’s happening out there. Well, this story is certainly not a fairy tale. The title reffers to Prince Myshkin and his behaviour. The book is trying to anwer the question - is being the kind of person Prince Myshkin was is worth anything? I like that even the concept of the story may seem to be pathetic, the story and the book wasn’t pathetic at all! It was a masterpiece. And I loved the characters, they were portrayed brilliantly! They seem to be real and not fake or shallow. They have a great depth and there are so many different characters. I also love the story, love its concept, love the way Dostoevsky is speaking trough his characters and what he’s trying to say.

Well, I guess I’ll end it here for today. I hope I didn't bore You with this long blah blah blah of mine this time ;P

Thor PM 01-29-2011, 01:00 PM

I am pleased to meet you too, Emily. And my name is Vladimir. Now that we now each others name we should keep them in secret from the rest of the forum.

About Uberfraulein: that is my opinion about you compare to females in general

You surely demanding to yourself, I can't say that I like the approach but I like the result: beautiful you. Also why you need to attract all man if you look only for someone that matches your standards? As for different way of thinking than culture and genetic memory are reasons: girls brought up differently with different toys and socialize with other girls instead of boys so they grow up being different; genetic memory of women's role that was part of most societies (and all that reached any significance in development) for at least several thousand years also play role. And generally sanity is kind of insanity that shared by many people, so I think everyone is ****ed up to some extend, difference is only in one's understanding of his/her ****edupness and ability to both live with it and overcome it; that is what makes Ubermensch. But in your case it might be just a conflict between what you like/desire and what you think is right for whatever reason.

The more you say you are evil the less I think you are, after all honesty do not get along well with evilness. And our conversation, while a test for me from your perspective, is more like an interesting experience rather than a challenge from mine.

In contrast to what I have proposed you prefer relationships with greater integration, that could be a problem but because you generally prefer to deal with your problems yourself instead if relying on others you probably wouldn't be a burden, because girls who expect guy's involvement in every small, trivial, time consuming thing can be rather annoying.

Integration and you attitude to man makes it quite logical that you want man to be stronger than you. Your desire to dominate is just one of your tests that requires men not to succumb to it and your need for domination despite your dislike of it goes from your will to be better and inability to achieve it on your own, this self development quest is quite an interesting problem for me to be a guide in it.

So far my words were efficient enough in handling you, I wonder what else I might need? Nietzsche suggested whip; and more importantly whether there could be situations where my words wouldn't work?

Qualities that you like in men are quite logical considering my previous conclusions about you and predictable; suit matches your dress preferences, but if I would wear it it would me complementing you not you complementing me.

hmm, Complications like that we most likely live in different parts of the world?

And I wonder would you at this point deny that you love me or not?

I didn't said you dislike kissing and hugging I said you sounded like you dislike them, the way you wrote it gave me this impression. And you want to know how I look and that is important to you despite your denial; I will give you a comparable description: hmm, what will be your reaction if I will say that I look like Che Guevara without hat and with glasses. I am not a fan of Che Guevara and an anticommunist but last time I saw picture of him I thought that looks of this guy somewhat resembles mine.

Also don't be shy, tell me what do you like in sex?

So after all you are very sentimental and nice girl that likes moon, stars and blossoms. Where I live at some nights sky is dark blue instead of black and that is really beautiful.

That invisible wall situation you mentioned happens because life has no any global meaning except survival and procreation; some people follow some dogmas and end up being just parts of some identities mentioned by you and those who follow their own way sometimes face situation where they question their life on its meaningfulness; and solitude of this life, that is especially prominent i such moments, feels like an invisible wall that separates you from everything else. But there is no meaning in the world behind that wall, there just unconscious actors playing their parts. Not sure whether we would be able to be and feel like together: we might end up felling that this invisible wall separates us not just from the world but also from each other; but just knowing that there is someone like me makes me feel better, I hope it is same for you.

I like that you don't like to stick to some labels such as occupation or nationality, I use then for different reasons but do not limit my self understanding to them.

And what is this badass situation that you mentioned?

As for Sartre: I like his bad faith Idea because it correlates with what I say about religious people. As for idea you mentioned then I think big paragraph about solitude and small after it covers my opinion about it well enough, but to put it into sentence on its own then indeed most people just choose one of the ways of being unconscious actors and then just stick to it.

Also I wonder why you call withdrawal to you shell a courage?

So overall while you not sure whether you living 'right' or not, but, as you said before, you stick to pursue for more adventures, challenges and interesting situations and that how you test worth of your life.

You just shelfed philosophical discussion because now you want to talk about yourself; well I asked you to, so don't think of it as of my displeasure with your actions.

About the book: Well what you said is what one can get from pretty much any plot description; what you personally like and what you think of actions of different characters and their personalities: Prince Myshkin, Aglaia, Nastasya Filippovna, Rogozhin.

Well I didn't commented on everything you said but everything was interesting, hope you would like what I wrote, have a nice weekend.

Thor VM 02-04-2011 06:47 PM

hmm, it is taking you way longer to reply to my latest message, I wonder why?

TrueHellDei VM 02-05-2011 11:05 AM

My apologies, I'm in the middle of moving in into a new place. It makes me quite busy and I like to take my time while replying to You ^_~ I have too much to say to be done in moment ^^ So, I'll be sending my response in short time, maybe even later today. ^.~

How was Your week anyway ?

Thor VM 02-05-2011 12:31 PM

don't worry then: take you time and I hope you will like it where you moved/planning to move

As for my week: it was good but intellectually lonely.

TrueHellDei PM 02-08-2011, 11:50 AM

Hey ^^ Sorry for being quite late...

So, first, I really like Your name ^^ It sounds so noble. I wonder if You’re from somewhere in Europe? If so, we may not be so far away from each other.

And thank You that You think of me as superior to other women ~^^~

It’s true that I’m quite demanding to myself. Maybe even a perfectionist when it comes to that...And it’s not entirely good thing...And I don’t feel a need for attracting everyone, it’s more like I can’t allow myself for looking really bad.

Indeed, so far Your words were efficient enough in handling me ^^ So, what else You may need ? A whip may not be a bad idea, because there may be times when I’ll deserve a good spanking LOL xD And whether there could be situations where Your words wouldn't work? I can’t really answer that, because I’m not sure. I’d say that no - there wont be any situations where Your words wouldn’t work, but I can’t know that for sure.

About complications I’ve mentioned before, it involves the distance too. Now, the most interesting question - "And I wonder would you at this point deny that you love me or not?" xD LOL You sure have the guts ;P Well I can’t deny that I feel some strange affection toward You but I wouldn’t call it ‚love’(yet) ^_~

So, You really do wear glasses ^^ somehow I knew it LOL.You say You look kinda like Che, so You have dark eyes and hair ? And Che was quite good-looking^^ xD

Now, what I like about sex. I’d say that about sex I like sex LOL xD Well, it's a mutual pleasure we share with someone special or someone we like. Sexual impulses and desires are natural. That's who we are. And trying to conceal it will turn us into freaks and psychos LOL xD. I separate sex and love. Sex can go with love, but doesn't have to. I don't see anything wrong to it. Anyway, I like to make love passionately. I like to make my partner feel special and cherished by me. I wanna feel him close to me. Sometimes I like it fast and firmly and sometimes I like it all sensual like an endless contemplating of our bodies. I think that the worst thing You can do is to let having sex become boring...So I’m willing to experiment in that area, trying out new ideas ;P

As for me being sentimental, I like nice views ;P I’d gladly see that night sky You was talking about^^

I like what You said about invisible wall situation. Just knowing that there is someone like me makes me feel better too. You’re also asking me what this badass situation may be. The truth is I can’t describe it in detail, that’s why I used such term...All I can say that I meant something unusual, and I guess I’d even put my life on the line to achieve that.

And I meant withdrawal from the shell. It was mistake in that sentence of mine there. I’m sorry for misunderstanding.

About the book. I wrote all this intentionally. I was hoping I’ll get You to reading it ;P I still hope so I wont be telling You more about it ;P But I can answer Your questions if You’d really want me to ^_~

That’s all I had to tell about myself, now is Your turn ;P So, what you like in women, what You like in sex, what’s Your favourite book and for what You’re aiming for in life ?

Also, I’d gladly continue our philosophical discussion, so I’m awaiting more questions in that matter ^^

I guess it’s all from me for today ^_~ till the next time ^^

*hugs*

Thor PM 02-09-2011, 02:26 AM

Hi, I wonder where were you moving to if it took you so long?

Count Vladimir XVI the Impaler and you will be Countess consort Emily the Shy or may be a petty maid Emily for both domestic and sexual services. I am from Europe but now I life really far from it. And you, I suppose, in.

Poor you: struggling so hard to be cute; but I appreciate your efforts. And I like that you like my opinion about you; hmm, we quite often say this phrase to each other.

So you are willing to be an obedient good girl for me, and still fall short from calling it love; give up already and admit it. And I wonder how would you feel after spanking, so imagine it and tell me?

You approach to sex sounds good and encourages me to look forward to experiencing it, but I really wonder whether you can do it as good as you talk about it? As for me: I also like variety and would appreciate you efforts to please me and will try to make you feel good as well. I like the idea closeness and specialness between us and I surely consider sex to be natural and positive. Hmm, sadly of positively there is not much to add to what you wrote.

Sad that my camera can't capture night sky with any degree of viewability, also it doesn't happen every night. Otherwise I would make a photo of dark blue sky for you.

We are two solitudes that semi-met.

About bad-ass situation: You have secrets from me? Naughty girl. Come on tell me at least something.

What makes you think that I haven't read it? Either way I asked about your opinion and that is something I can't get from just reading a book: from book I can get my opinion and sometimes author's.

What do I like in women? You for example. And more generally I like nice, cute, cuddly, loving and dedicated to me and my will ones. I also like smart and open minded women who do not think with stereotypes, have ability to understand things in their complexity and generally are interesting to talk to. Finally I like self sustainable ones who can take care of themselves and do not expect/depend on my help and support. Even though I am sometimes and in some situations helpful and supportive it is far not always so I wouldn't call myself reliable; I particularly dislike doing errands and in most cases would not. Overall I think you meet the criteria.

Hmm, my favorite book: well I like Captain Blood by Raphael Sabatini because I think that main protagonist is similar to me and I would do many things similar way, though I read it quite long time ago so if I would re-read it now I might be more critical about it. From something more serious I would choose One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marques. It is a nice story about one small village and several generations of its inhabitants and their unusual lives and how all these strange events and lives were influencing each other and add up to overall picture of village. A lot of globally significant events such as civil war happened on the sidelines of the story but all of them shown rather insignificantly while many small unnoticeable things are emphasized. In the end while a lot of time have passed and a lot of things changed nothing of it really mattered and all is meaningless. Though other people have different opinions about meaning of the book. Overall I mostly like it for way of story telling and diversity of characters and events.

As for my goals in life then so fat I am trying to secure stability and rights, remove influence of unpleasant actors and establish good control over everything so when I would achieve all or most of if I would be able to use it either as good foundation to my future plans or just enjoy life or most likely both.

You got off track on philosophical discussion, my comments were last not yours so it could be only up to you to ask questions; that shows how deeply you fell in love. But be OK with that and talk about love, I like it.

hmm, I waited so long and got only such a small message, please write more next time. In addition to other questions what is some irrelevant topic you would like to talk about?

Now I will imagine doing various things to you while you writing reply to this message.

*hug and hold you*

TrueHellDei PM 02-15-2011, 10:41 AM

Hello ^^

I was moving to another city ;P and it took me quite long because I was busy rearranging my new room completely ;P Besides I didn’t have the net at first so that also was the reason for delaying.

Anyway, dear Count Vladimir XVI the Impaler (LOL that title just made my day xD), I wonder why I’m Emily the Shy ? ;P (I think I’m not that shy :P) Besides, stranglely enough I’d prefer to be a maid xD ( I consider maid’s outfit being very sexy ^^) or how about me being Countess Emily de TrueHell and You my butler Vladimir ;P ^_~

Yes, I live in Europe right now, precisely in Poland. It’s quite beautiful country but full of boring, shallow, unhappy, small-minded people. I’ve spent most of my life rebelling against that reality.

Now, let me say something about this sentence of Yours: “ We are two solitudes that semi-met. “ – It’s so simple, so true, so beautiful, yet so sad...I wonder if we will be able to fully met each other...

Continuing, about me not admiting I’m in love with You. I’d say that the situation looks more or less like this : The ‘You’ I know from the net is both the real You and not at the same time. Sounds unclear and complicated but it’s pretty much like this. I can say I have a crush on the ‘virtual’ presence representing You. It may be the part of You but not the whole You. Also here’s something I’ve said about virtual relationships so0me time ago on AC :

"Originally Posted by Light_siLencEr

its just a fairy tale as CElgant said."

‘Indeed it is, but people likes fairy tails. And also like to idealize things. Something like fascination or attraction can be easily earned while talking through the net. Especially when You met someone You can share a great understanding with. And if You don't have many of people like that in Your real life. It's very easy to get attached to an internet 'love', since we can decide how this relationship will be like entirely by ourselves. He/she does not invade our personal living space, we mostly don't have a chance to see most of his/her flaws trough the net. There's no need for us make a compromise for this kind of relationship, there's no need to sacrifice anything in our daily life for this.

This is very egoistical relation, and a very comfortable one. I'd say that what people 'love' is not the person on the other side, but this relation itself.

There's a huge possibility that after You meet this special someone in person, You'd be dissappointed. And even if not, that wont be the same anymore, and won't last long.

The truth is that real reationships are more complicated and harder. But going trough the hardships of life together is something that binds two people much stonger than any internet relationship.

So I think that the so-called happy end for something like that is barely possible. But still, not impossible ^_~ Sometimes life can be suprising ;P ‘

So, sure - I admit – I like you, I might have a crush on You, but saying that I love You at this point to You would be lying. When I say that love You, I want that not to be just an empty but nice word. I wanna really mean it and wanna say it to You face to face. Taken by excitement, with a trembling voice and gaze full of tenderness.

I hope You understand what I’m trying to say ^_~

Anyway, I’m wondering when did I say I’m willing to be an obedient girl for You ;P I’m rather not an obedient type ;P You may be able to handle me with no problems but that won’t stop me from rebelling ;P ^_~

Now, how would I feel after spanking – that depends on spanking ;P And if it would be You spanking me, then I guess I’d be turned on ;P

As for sex - You really wonder whether I can do it as good as I talk about it? I’d say I can do it even better ;P but You wouldn’t know it for sure untill You experience it Yourself ;P

Now, as for my ‘what do like in women question’. You answered ‘You, for example’ and You earned one big kiss from me for that ^^ That was soooo nice ~^^~

And if You can’t make a photo of that dark night sky for me, all that is left is to hope to have a chance to see it together with You ^^ and how about You take a picture of You for me ? ^_~

I like Gabriel Garcia Marques, but I haven’t read Captain Blood, so right now it’s number one book for me to read.

As for “The Idiot”, actually I was wondering if You read the book or not. I can say that my favourite characters from the book are Prince Myshkin and Nastasia Filipowna. She is a beautiful and proud woman with some unhappy past. Prince Myshkin is the first man being able to see trough all that ‘disguise’ of her. She loves him, but finds herself unworthy of love someone as pure as Prince Myshkin. So she’s trying to demonstrate it before him by tainting herself even more. She’s showing him that she can sell herself like a thing for money. But, no matter what she’ll do, it’s useless. He knows that it’s not the real her. He can see right trough it. He can see her real beauty. He can see her suffering. He’s the man she always longed for. She’s so overpowered and struck by him that she’s trying with all her might to deny it’s real. She still finds herself nothing more than a stain on his noble name. And he’s not the kind of man that would use force to keep her. Well, he did more than necessary to convince and keep her. But she still chose to throw herself into despair. It all leads to the tragic end. I love her character because she, her feelings and reasoning seemed so real to me. She was so well portrayed that I could understand her so well. Same goes for Prince Myshkin. I also really like the book for bunch of concepts You can find in it. Despite the fact it was written so long ago, all that author was trying to say trough it can apply to the world we live in right now. It’s amazing how many words You can find in there is still actual...

“ I will imagine doing various things to you while you writing reply to this message. “ – I’m wondering what were these ‘various things’ ;P Can You tell me ? ;P

I’m affraid I’ll leave continuing our philosophical conversation till the next time, because I was sober while starting my reply to You and now I need to admit I’m quite drunk...I was a kinda a part of the party meanwhile...I’m living with my younger sister and her fiance now. They were celebrating Valntine’s Day and I was somewhat their guest...That’s how I had a bit too much to drink ;P

Well, I don’t celebrate Valntine’s Day but I guess I can give You some extra hugs and kisses because of it ^_~ And I really wish I could give it to You in reality ;P

I guess imagining kissing and hugging You with some xxx is all that's left for me right now ;P ^_~

Thor PM 02-17-2011, 01:24 AM

Hi,

you sure took time not just for moving but also to take you writing to a new heights in terms of good ideas.

Are you as confident in you ability to serve me as you are confident in your sexual abilities?

Sure I can be your butler miss Emily, what would you like for... Just kidding. Make me a tea in a cup half filled with boiled water, add cold water when its ready to make temperature optimal and bring it on a silver tray. I will spank and **** you after I finish my tea.

You are not that, but still shy: for example you only now directly asked me for a photo and I told you couple of messages before that you want my photo; well not over-defensive shyness is cute, so you are fine.

Well I never been in Poland but I like pictures of it.

I also wonder would we meet or not.

About your love: You sure were cooling your head long enough.

I would say more: people generally see not the reality but their idealized image of it. With religion it is partly due to superstitional nature but with issues such as ideology, nationality or territory there is nothing superstitional but people en masse still base their opinions on their vision of reality therefore you may listen to completely different stories from opposite sides of the argument/conflict. Same with love: many people who met in real life and even got married only after some time realize that his/her lover/spouse way not as good at he/she originally thought. Because people are very complex, selfish and diverse chances to find person who would 100% meet your ideal love are almost negligible; so in a sense all people are either live in illusion of love to idealized person till got their hearts broken (if they got to see the flaws), or do not try to see illusion real.

So your quest to assuring reality of a thing that is an illusion in nature could only result in either immediate failure or delayed one where you will convince yourself that I am really your ideal lover just to get your heart broken by me afterwards. We both are too smart to give away too much of sensitive information or flaws, so I doubt that IRL meeting would reveal critical flaws unless it is something looks related. So do not seek solid confirmation and commitment for eternity, enjoy love as it is now, do not regret the loss and remember it afterwards at its best.

I don't want to break your heart I will try not to, but hearts are too fragile so sometimes it can't be helped; I would like our relationship to last and would miss you if we break away but in case of break away I wouldn't blame anything. Hmm, I hope I didn't broke your heart already.

I definitely want you to confess to me the way you described, but Poland/Europe is too far away.

In the mean time I would consider you admitted your love to me.

You rebelling would only give me more excuses to punish you. Would you also deny that you will do what I tell you because you love me, or how you say it might have a crush on me? May be you deny it, probably you harsh to others, but the whole tone of your messages to me gives you away: with me you are nice little girl and I like you for being so nice and mine.

About sex: all I can say from what you wrote is that you are confident.

About you: you like being found better than other women, I would probably like your big kiss, now come to me I will hug you and caress you head, heck, shoulders and back.

About photo: Hmm, it seems you not so much dislike taking photos as you said previously because you added another one to your album, then it shouldn't be a problem for you to make some more for me because I want to see things you described in your messages such as cloth and undercloth and generally more of you from different angles and positions. You can use Imageshack or my email thor.thorman@gmail.com

As for mine: here is one in poor quality, most of them are, looks theatrically evil I hope you will like it. I wouldn't post it in the Album of the forum for everyone to see, it is just for you.

About the Idiot: you description of Prince Myshkin and Nastasia Filipowna relationship suspiciously matches ours. But if you can love only a man whose love you wouldn't worth then you are hopeless, perfectly tragic person who may be even deserve a book of her own. As I said it before you are nice person and I think you deserve my love, not sure whether I would give it to you though.

What I imagine doing to you: put you back against the wall, look down in your eyes and then kiss your lips, pull your skirt up and panties down, **** you first from the front and than from the back. Spanking you standing hands against the wall and over the knees. Making you clean or cook naked or in maid outfit while I watching. Caressing you chin for a while before carefully pulling you head closer to me for a kiss. **** you while you sit or lay on the table. Make you sit under the table and do me blowjob while I surf Internet or play videogames. Make you sit on my laps and hug and caress you, then **** in the same position. Holding you almost horizontally below me and kissing. Feeding you various food and making lick or suck different objects. Make you crawl on bed and floor, sometimes with various objects in your mouth. Also make you try keeping in your mouth while I spank you. Playing with your hair. Fingering your *****. Hugging and caressing you before of after ****ing while lying in spoons position. Just lying on the bed and talking about philosophy and literature. I guess I will stop on it for now, somewhat incohesive but imagination do not need cohesiveness. Hmm, I hope all that wouldn't scare you away though. Now is your turn.

About philosophy, I wonder whether we will talk about it again because we both seems too distracted by desire for sex. And do not forget to spank yourself for drinking too much.

And I still want to experience you kisses and hugs IRL.

I hope this text would make you feel better and look forward for your response, please do not delay it this time.

In the mean time have a nice life my loving maid Emily.

Vladimir XVI the Impaler

http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/561/dsc00107t.jpg

TrueHellDei VM 02-20-2011 09:42 AM

Hi, I need to apologize for delaying my responce again...the reason is that I spent weekend visiting my family and actually don't have the possibility of writing for such long time that this responce requires...So, don't think that You scare me away with Your last message ^_~

Thor VM 02-20-2011 07:23 PM

Apology accepted. Generally I couldn't expect less from your reaction to my last message, you are special after all. And you don't have to worry but I like when you do, just not overdo it.

So how are you generally? I hope you are having fun: if not, I hope this message will make you feel good and, if yes, feel even better. In the mean time I will imagine you being happy.

TrueHellDei VM 02-21-2011 03:30 AM

~^^~

Thanks for asking, I'd say I'm good but quite far from being happy. Well, Your message made me feel better ^^

And how are You ?

Thor VM 02-21-2011 01:44 PM

Would it make you happier if I would stop you from talking to all these random people and make you to concentrate on me instead?

How am I: I am missing my maid.

Thor PM 03-02-2011, 12:05 AM

hmm, it's been a while; how are you now? May be you are not so not scared after all; if so you can talk about something more neutral though I would still like to encourage you to be brave: believe in me and in yourself, even if I would disagree with you and wouldn't make your dreams come true, I wouldn't blame or turn you down for sharing your dreams with me. I care for your... you. *smile*

TrueHellDei PM 03-12-2011, 10:40 AM

Hey, I’m very sorry for such late responce but it is caused by some serious complications I suddenly need to face and not because I’m scared. Honestly. It has nothing to do with what You said to me. I just had a little surgery and was hospitalized lately and had no net so I couldn't answer. Plus some more other annoying problems I sitll need to deal with. I promise that You will get a proper reply to all You have written to me. It should be finished by tomorrow.

Thor PM 03-14-2011, 08:36 PM

hmm, usage of 'just' with 'little surgery' and 'hospitalized' supposed to make you look too brave to be afraid of my message but it's still not convincing enough for me; through you seem not that much scared of message as much as of further development of this relationships: emotionally you are willing to fall in this love and surrender yourself to me but mentally you are afraid of getting too open to me because it can ruin image of you in my mind and with that the relationships, perfect image of me in your mind and you heart.

I wonder would you deny this as well as your love for me.

I wonder what happened to you that required surgery to get fixed; anyway I hope that it is nothing too dangerous for your wellbeing and that you recovering well. I also hope that you other problems got fixed or if not I might be able help you with advise or something else.

Tell me how you feel.

Also: thank you for existing.

TrueHellDei PM 04-08-2011, 12:09 PM

Hey.

I’m very sorry for this late reply and that I didn’t sent my message to You the day I promissed. But that was all due to unpredictable difficulties I’ve needed to face lately. Honestly, my life was almost turned upside down. You may now say that I got what I wanted, since I said

I like suprises - even negative ones. Well, yes, that’s true, however I truly had some serious crisis, but endured and overcame it. Situation is way better now.

So, here’s my very late reply:

First - I didn’t say I’m so confident in my sexual abilities. I only said that I like sex ;P

Now, about ‚love’. I really wonder why You are so fond to this word? Why are You so persistent in calling it ‚love’? Why can it be called for example‚crush’ or something like that ? And also - how can You be so sure what I feel ? We didn’t even truly meet each other yet. I’m really curious about it, since You seem to be a person who needs a solid proof before stating something as a fact. So what solid proof You have for that ? And how can You know that among all possible feelings and emotions, it’s exactly this one - ‚love’ ? So, in other words, I’m not trying to „assuring reality of a thing that is an illusion in nature” as You said. I’m just curious how can You be so sure of “a thing that is an illusion in nature” ;P

As for “Would You also deny that you will do what I tell you because you love me, or how you say it might have a crush on me?” - I wont do what You tell me ;P lol I do what I want, however I wont deny I would do much more for You, if’d ask me, than for many other people. Besides, I’m rebellious in nature, so I just cant turn out into completely obedient woman ;P I may rebelling You just for fun, simply because I like to ;P lol

“You like being found better than other women” - of course I do ^_~ I’m a woman after all, there must be some vanity in me ;P

Tkanks a lot for the pics !!! I really apreciate You’ve sent them, especially since it was just for me ~^^~And, no - I really don’t like taking photoes. Seriously. That one picture I added was taken by my sister, and all the rest I’ve added, by my friend. I don’t have any other pics of me. However, I’ll consider Your request for taking some, despite the fact it’s something I really dislike ;P but, unfortunately, due to a certain circumstances, there’s no possibility of me taking them now...Sorry for that, but I’ll try to take at least a few in the first occasion I’ll have to do it.

About The Idiot, it might be that I resemble Nastasia a bit, but surely not overall. She rejected feelings of someone she knew very well she loved and desired, just because she considered herself not good enough for him. She even tainted herself more just to convince him it’s true. Or more like to convince herself about that. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t do such thing. I’m way more egoistic and would want my desires to be fulfilled.

As for what You imagine doing to me - imagination surely don’t need cohesiveness ~^^~. And from all You’ve said, there’s one sentence I wouldn’t agree with - there’s no way for You to stay focused on playing video games or surfing the net while I’ll be ‘taking care’ of Your cock ;P

Are You really sure about wanting me talking about my naughty imagination ?;P It can be REALLY dirty talking ;P And I’m not sure I should reveal all my secret thoughts ;P But if You really want me to, I guess I can do it. ^_~

Thor PM 04-09-2011, 12:39 AM

Hi

I am glad to hear that your situation have improved but I am really interested what kind of situation caused so much trouble to you.

You said you can do it even better: what is it if not confidence? But surely there is nothing wrong in confidence, so you don't have to be so denyious about it.

May be you didn't meant to admit you love to me by asking me to let you name your love differently but you did. Freudian slip gave you away and moved closer to what you really feel and desire. Sure you can call love or anything with any world you like, but it would not change the nature of the thing and love would stay love no matter how you call it. How I knew it? There were many things in your previous messages that showed your love, I even pointed out some, so question 'how could I not noticed it' would be more relevant. Since you coined 'solid prove of love' then it is up to you to bring convincing example of one because I think that nature of love makes any solidity, including solidity of prove, impossible.

Now real question: why are you so afraid of your love that you are willing to deny it so fiercely? Why you insist on hiding from me in your shell? Please don't be afraid to tell me.

Surely I meant that you will do what I want because it is what you want to do. And, as I said, your rebellions are fine and even necessary and therefore do not conflict with your overall obedience. So now we reached common ground on this question.

Well and I like to make you feel better.

About photos: you just shy.

So what is your persistence in calling yourself selfish and evil is, if not a attempt to tainted yourself in my and your own eyes?

As I told you, I wouldn't blame or like you less for your sexual fantasies even if I wouldn't like or participate in them so you tell me everything and anything without fear or hesitation.

Well it is sure nice to hear from you again and I hope you will be happy after reading all that?

Till next time Emily.

*hug, kiss and caress you*

TrueHellDei PM 04-13-2011, 03:10 PM

Hey, I'm sorry I won't be replying to all You've wrote to me lately now but I'm leaving to another country. I planned to go in next week but suddenly I need to go today...It's somewhat unexpected and I'll try to reply to You as soon as I'll reach my destination and have some spare time. I'm sorry for making You wait.

Thor PM 04-14-2011, 01:04 AM

Well I guess I just have to look forward for opportunity to punish you for your constant lack of time for me.

By the way, tell me how in retrospective you feel about all your adventures: are you as satisfied as you claimed you would be before it all happened, you regret it and prefer things to stay as they were or may be something average between two, neither or even something completely different?

Thor PM 05-08-2011, 02:11 AM

hmm, its been almost a month, is something happened to you?