Saturday 20 April 2024

Chunibyo Parody - Chapter 1: Chunibyo in Bar

Inspired by Gintama and Maou-sama Retry! in addition to Chunibyo series. In these shows critical common-sense comments by Shinpachi, Gintoki or Kunato helped to expose the absurdity of things that were going on screen. Gintama even had an episode explaining how it works, that covers it partly. Here this role will be played by Observer character.

Chunibyo in Bar

Barmaid goes to a girl with an eyepatch who stands on the table and asks politely:

Barmaid: Excuse me customer, please do not stand on our furniture in such an intimidating posture. You are scaring other customers. If you do not stop, we will be forced...

Chunibyo: You will not stop me, priestess.

Barmaid looks intimidated and confused.

Observer: How is that looks priestess to you, no matter how you look at her 

Chunibyo: I am prepared to fight anyone.

Barmaid stepped back and covered in fear.

Chunibyo: This new attack will not stop me.

Observer: How is that even an attack, can't you see she is scared of you.

Chunibyo hits barmaid with umbrella. Barmaid flees. 

Chunibyo: Forces of Twilight Horizon will not stop me.

Observer: How Twilight series have anything to do with Chunibyo?

Chunibyo: If only Dark Fries Master could see me now.

Observer: What with this title, did he forgot to switch off the frier and burned his fries?

Chunibyo dreamingly recalls the events that led to him adopting this title.

Flashback with Dark Fries Master

Dark Fries Master: No, no, no. I want to forget; this is so painful.

Observer: At least this guy has common sense, unlike his gf.

Dark Fries Master: That started such a big fire that destroyed all my Hatsune Miku figurines. Even ones where she is in fur-suit.

Observer: Never mind what I said earlier. What is wrong with him, who the hell faps to Miku in fur suit.

Flashback with Dark Fries Master ends.

Chunibyo: Ah, Yuut-ward

Observer: What is it, you cannot even decide on his name. At least make your mind if he is Edward or Yuuta

Barmaid returns with the bar security.

Chunibyo: Your familiars cannot defeat me, priestess. My Black Eye sees everything.

Observer: What name for a special ability is that? Does that mean your abusive boyfriends beats you and you have black eye.

Chunibyo gestures towards her eye covered with an eyepatch, touches it but then pulls her hand away in pain.

Chunibyo: Aww.

Observer: I did not even expect to be right on that one.

Security guard rises his ice-cream scoop and hits Chunibyo on her head.

Observer: Why security guard has ice-cream scoop? Is he a part-times as gelato vender. Why there is even a gelato vender in a bar. What kind of bar is it?

Chunibyo: Your Funnel of Jericho will not break my Grau Schuld

Ice-cream scoop hits Chunibyo on her head and breaks.

Chunibyo: ha ha ha

Observer: How dense she can be that even objects made of iron break when they hit her head.

Security Guard takes meat tenderizer and hits Chunibyo again. 

Observer: Why security guard has meat tenderizer is he a chief here as well?

Meat tenderizer hits Chunibyo head and breaks.

Observer: is your head made of rocks? Is that being why you are so stupid?

Security Guard takes crowbar and hits Chunibyo again. Crobar breaks.

Observer: is her head denser than even Nokia 3310. Is it made of Nokias?

Chunibyo: Twilight Watch will not prevent me from becoming vampires together with Yuut-ward.

Observer: I knew that she reads Twilight too much.

Suddenly a Nokia 3310 falls down from under the Chunibyo's hat. It lands on the table, breaks it and the floor underneath it. Chunibyo and the security guard fall into the resulting abyss.

Chunibyo: Nooo, my Grau Schuld.

Observer: Noookia, it was Nokia. Why did you put Nokias all around your head. Are you stupid?

Chunibyo: My plan has worked. Nokias indeed made me invincible. However now that Grau Schuld is destroyed I have to retreat.

Chunibyo jumps down the falling table and runs away into horizon. 

Observer: Ok, it makes sense now. ... Like hell it does, why you even need invincibility. Are you suffering from Chunibyo syndrome? Are you? Are you.


Coming up next: Dark Fries Master Drinks Chunibyo's Blood

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