Why I Hate One Piece

Writing my review about Shin Angyo Onshi got me stumble on the fact that I hate One Piece. That was not always the case, however. I actually once thought very highly of this show but then changed my mind. Reason for that is rather peculiar way I got to watch/read One Piece. To explain why I will have to re-tell the whole story of how I got to read OP.

It was somewhere around 2010. The Impel Down War Ark just ended and Luffy was mourning death of Ace. Fans were all over the issue, some mourned Ace almost as hard as Luffy and others reacted to it in various ways. Seeing this whole affair got me thinking of giving One Piece a chance. At the time I knew few key characters from the show but nothing more.

I began not from very beginning but from where manga or anime currently were at the time, that is on flashback arc/Grey Terminal Arc, Polchemy Incident to be precise. That is where Sabo and Ace saved Luffy from some second in command in some small-time pirates, called Polchemy. Most people do not even remember this character, and I only remember him because he was one of the first characters I saw in OP. 

Grey Terminal Ark had three main characters, Luffy, Ace and Sabo. Out of these three Sabo was by far the best one. I found him to be very relatable, and his sense of justice is similar to my own. Unlike Ace and Luffy he was from well off family on Sabody archipelago but hanged out with poor kids at the junk yard, called Grey Terminal. His family did not like Sabo, they thought he was stupid and preferred his younger brother Stelly who later went to marry a princecss and become a ruler of Sabody Archipelago. Sabo in turn did not like neither his family, nor the society they lived in, so he preferred freedom of his friends at Grey Terminal Luffy and Ace, together they dreamed to one day leave Sabody and live free as pirates. 

Sabo got to leave first as one incident at Sabody high society pushed him to make a plunge. Some rich kid attacked Sabo with a knife and almost killed him. Sabo managed to defend himself, but the attacker called for help and police arrested Sabo. Sabo protested he was innocent and did it in self-defence, however on Sabody its status who determines who is right and who is wrong. Parents of knife guy were some high nobilities and per Sabody rules he could not be wrong as he is of higher status than Sabo. Sabo protested this rule and called it bullshit, for that Sabo's dad called him stupid and said Stelly is much better son than he is. After that Sabo had enough of Sabody Archipelago rules and hypocrisy so he decided to set sail as soon as possible and leave for good, even without Ace and Luffy. He did so but his small boat got in the way of an even higher status Saint who shot it with some advance weapon. Sabo was taken to die in this incident. 

That is how flashback ended, after that we were turned back towards older, contemporary, Luffy crying over Ace, two of his brothers are dead now, it's up to him to fulfil their vision for the free life as they discussed it back after drinking sake at Grey Terminal. Just like that after Gret Terminal Arc One Peace appeared to be a dead serious high tragedy show about social issues that does not shy away from killing its main characters. It had strong Code Geass feel about it, the Grey Terminal Arc that is, certainly not the whole One Piece as I later found out. Sure, my favorite character, Sabo was dead, but I was certain a person who wrote such a character could manage more good characters.

Looking back at it, after I watched the most other One Piece Arcs, Grey Terminal Arc was rather uncharacteristic of OP as a whole. It was unwise to commit to watching the whole thing over such an uncharacteristic arc. However, since I did not know it was such an uncharacteristic arc, because it was the only one I watched, I decided to watch OP from the beginning and catch up on the whole story.

That said I liked Grey Terminal Arc a lot and if I were to rate it by itself, I would give it 8 or at least 7.5. Far above what I rate One Piece overall. 

Grey Terminal Arc was the reason I stick with OP for as long as I did. In general, One Piece is nothing but a clown show more than 60% of the time. However various small elements of plot and world building occasionally made it seem more than it is. There is more to the story and Circus level weird antagonist and majority of Straw Hat crew. Remembering Grey Terminal Ark made me think that show certainly can be serious and profound if it wants too. So, I thought it will eventually stop its introductory arks antics and will get to the main storyline with full seriousness. Naruto too took several dozen chapters to grow into a show I could see as enjoyable. 

In fact, closer towards Grey Terminal Ark, it did get more serious. War at Impel Down, Water 7 ark and even Barque Works vs Alabastra were clear improvement over early arks. One Piece was growing into a full scale good shounen show, like Naruto with large epic battles and cool abilities and diverse cast of epic characters. I thought finally it is getting there. 

Then it ended. War at Impel Down ended, the only two characters to ever die in One Piece died there, a very small casualty rate for an equivalent of a World War in OP world. 

From there it went back to silliness of early arcs. Underwater kingdom could be dismissed as transitional ark. However then came animal people ark, that was just meh, followed by Big Mom Pirates, Big Mom is more reprehensible than Germa Judge described her. She and her full clown show on steroids crew is where I decided enough is enough and dropped One Piece for good.

Also, they later brought Sabo back, but he was not the same principal, uncompromising and freedom loving Sabo from Grey Terminal Arc, far from it, he was pathetic and it was pain to watch him being bossed by some cunt.

So that is how I got to hate One Piece. Its brand of clown-show characters. Diehard loyalty of subordinates to underserving superiors who should have been couped instead, backstabbed and removed from power. Abusive unlikable women with bad personality. Abused men reduced to being jokes. Creepiness of many characters, particularly gay ones. 

Speaking of women. I wonder if it were editors, who insisted Oda dropped Vivi for Robin as people who prefer submissive women would like her a lot more that spoiled self-assertive princess or orange head navigator. Taking Robin over Vivi certainly improved my opinion about the show. That said alas gradually Robin became closer and closer to nami's levels of spoil-ness. Aside from that there are many women in the show, but hardly any likable ones. Best girl of OP is of course Harpy-chan, who else but Harpy-chan.

By the Big Mom Ark it becomes abundantly clear to me that Grey Terminal Arc was an exception that does not represent what One Piece is and it's pointless to wait any further for the show to get back towards that diehard serious mood it had back then. That show is as gone as Sabo's little boat with S over the crossbones flag. Only clown show remains and I am not into it.

It could have been a show like on top panel, but instead it became a show like on bottom one instead:

Shin Angyo Onshi Review

Overall Rating 5.9 out of 10 - Plot full of plot holes, unlikable characters, but cute heroine and locations

I actually can cautiously recommend as it has certain good points about it.

I watched this movie because of a small video with tied up girl in what looked like BDSM gear. It was more of a clickbait than a real thing.

To begin with a girl. She has nice outfit, but the show does not make full use of it, like Bikini Warriors do for example. After a short tied up scene, followed by a longer fighting scene where she fights in this outfit, she later gets covered in a large blanket and gets too little screen time. A really glaring offence for a show like this. Personality wise she is mostly nice and likable, thought I am not sure about that scene where she disobeys her master's order in order to save him, but that is on director's bad discretion.

A male protagonist here gets a lot more screen time. He is kind of mixed bag with a side of cognitive dissonance. He protects old order as he sees it even if the country he used to serve no longer exists and attacks whoever he feels like. I found it hard to relate to his value system, like why beat gun trader. Even final antagonist does not seem such a bad person. Also, he has a medallion with a ghost army, but he is not using it all the time for some reason even though it does not seem to be any limitations on when he can use it. 

Overall, I find it hard to understand him, but maybe what he does matters to him in some reason, not covered by the story. I myself might just be the same kind of wandering warrior who fights for causes only I myself understand and others find equally confusing. Yet I am not this guy, and this guy is not me, each of us fights for a different cause and I cannot really understand his at all.

Antagonists seemed to be far too generic maybe. Human eating monsters. A weak official, who simps for that tied up girl and just executes people left and right. A guy who sells guns and does nothing else bad, no, seriously. 

Finally, a Mandrake magician who created an illusion of life on an island that was wiped out by epidemic. One of the ghosts he created figured the whole thing was an illusion and requested protagonists' help somehow despite being a ghost. He killed himself in the end too because he too was a ghost and he wanted to put an end to a charade. 

Go figure what author was thinking when he came up with that plot. That said it feels more of a glaring plot gaps and characters that make no sense, than original and ingenious plot writing. That is one of the reasons why final score is so low.

Environments, both nature and urban as well as backgrounds are one of the stronger elements of this anime. They look stunning and give Studio Ghibli vibes as well as old anime movies vibe, like Arabian Nights: Sindbad no Bouken of 1962 with some mix or Mushishi. They do look slightly old, but that feels more like a design style rather than cheap production and only adds to the vibe, like fine aged Scotch whisky. Considering that half of the shows just go with basic backgrounds, it's very important to mention that this show is not like that.

The same cannot be said of worldbuilding. That fallen Jushin Empire and special enforcers Angyou Oushi, while somewhat original, sort of leave bad aftertaste. Recuring theme of weaker guys just relying on Musnu or idea of Angyou Onshi. Or more of a this somehow clear divide between strong and weak that bugs me a lot. Or this peculiar brand on enthusiasm certain supporting guys professes. It's hard for me to pin it on something particular but something just does not sit well for me with this anime. Most likely its certain arbitrarily of Munsu's judgement on who gets help and who gets boot or death. He takes to his medallion far too liberally. Or the fact that these ghost warriors are far too undefined and it's too hard to measure its limits.

Most characters are unlikable too, far too unlikable. One Piece style stock characters but better written. I do not like One Piece and clearly rate Shin Angyo Onshi higher than OP despite OP being global phenomenon.

To sum it up, this anime has a few things going for it like good art and cute likable female heroine in sexy outfit. However rather illogical plot, unlikable premise and most characters just drag it down for me.

Why I do not Like Drama

Writing review about Mashiroiro Symphony brought my attention to the fact that I hate drama. I wrote about this before, but it was probably few posts on MAL, I likely never wrote a proper article about this topic.

I hate drama because its fundamentally about everyday troubles and hassles. Such things are hassle enough to deal with in real life, that is why you sure as hell do not want to see it on screen. A lot of drama is merely about a girl being difficult for no good reason and guy dealing with her. Just the kind of thing all men want to avoid in real life.

There are different kind of shows, called cute girls doing cute things, where girls instead do things, men like them to do. Such CGDCT shows are a true joy to watch, if no one spoils them with women being challenging or difficult in any way. Drama is not it; it's about problems and men do not like problems, men want things to go smooth and effortless.

If you compare drama with food, drama is cheap and tasteless like a rice cracker. It's so watered down, it does not sate any of my cravings, all it can do is waste my time with a treadmill of repetitive story. Watching drama is like running in a hamster wheel, it never gets you anywhere. Sure, certain critics might say that other entertainment is by a form of wasting time, but to this I will respond that it's not. 

Just like different food or drinks can be more sating and fulfilling, so are entertainment. A well-made pizza with good toppings can make you feel well fed for a day, a well-crafted cake can bring sweet joy and make one jovial and so on. In contrast a tasteless rice cracker makes you question why did not you bought something better to eat.

Same with shows. Idyllic (wish fulfilling shows, CGDCT), like Gochiusa, GuP or Hand Maid May can make me happy as I enjoy looking at cute gentle demure girls. Good sarcastic, witty and insightful comedy (see separate article about comedy) can make me laugh to no end while also see sharpness of the creator's intellect. Finally, a good tragedy can make me sympathize with characters and their struggles, sometimes even root for one of them to win or like them if they are female.

Drama has none of it. Its low stake never-ending hassle is nothing but a drain of energy. Story brings nothing of value but keeps characters busy doing some stupid shit and the viewer busy watching them. I do not want to be busy; I want to see something that can touch my feelings in a pleasant way. Idlily (wish fulfilling show), comedy or tragedy can do that, a drama simply cannot.

To begin with drama is like a very diluted tragedy. Kind of like vodka mixed with some strawberry juice or something. Most of the time it adds so much mixer, you can hardly even feel any alcohol at all. While alcohol level is close to beer it's not a beer either, beer has its own unique flavour and character a diluted vodka simply does not. In that regard a dedicated simple show, like shounen - beer of anime, can be enjoyable in its own way, it's not trying to be whisky, but it does what it does well enough. Meanwhile a diluted spirit puts a heavy liquor on the name but really its but a juice with extra steps and huge markup.

Value of tragedy comes from the very fact that it's so heavy and high stakes. It's like heavy liquor of anime, cognac or scotch aged 12 years or more. Its heavy but it has this unique flavour that otherwise just cannot be produced. It's because it's so high stakes and characters are so emotionally invested in it, they are willing to die for it, that it works. Anything less than that will just cheapen the show, make you think they are but useless posers. Not everyone knows how to write good tragedy, just like with Scotch and cognac, for every good well aged spirit there are 4 times more of cheap swill from dodgy brands that taste weird and inconsistent, but a good tragedy is a true drink (or show in this context) worthy of a King.

Because of the above, drama is bound to be a failure. Low stake everyday life problems are but the worst topic to make anime about. If you make it about everyday life, then at least make it idyllic with perfect girls like in Gochiusa and no drama, just pure cuteness and sweetness. Despite simplicity of formula, it's really baffling how many shows fail at it. Sure, a good tragedy or a comedy requires good writing skills but an idyllic cute girl doing cute things is but a simple to make show. All of it is in tropes and there are plenty of examples of just what kind of girls' viewers like. Yet despite that far too often one or another creator decides to twist a formula and fails it in process. The resulting drama becomes a slog to watch, a salted caramel with too much salt.

Mashiroiro Symphony: The color of lovers Review

Overall Rating 5.3 out of 10 - Anime with few good points, drowning in a slog of a long drama.

I can only recommend episodes 5,6 and 11, skip the rest.

This anime has a few good points, but they drown in a sea of long pointless drama. I will begin with good.

The good is 'stray maid' Ange, who unfortunately got less screen time than other girls and the fact that anime ended up with Lavender-head girl (Miu Amaha) being main love interest instead of the blond one. alas this anime uses very confusing names for most of the girls so I will go with colours instead.

With Ange its simple but it works. A maid who is eager to serve and please her master is always a win. Ange is a bit rough on edges, but she is undoubtedly the best girl among them all. She likes being useful and will do anything for a protagonist, she also does not mind any other women he has in his life. Yes, I like maids, and that is why I watched this show to begin with. However, role of maid is simply a reflection of what good proper woman should be, unlike some other maids out there who are only maids because of the hype and popularity of this trope, Ange is a maid in spirit and soul, and it matters for the final verdict.

As for Lavender-chan then she is a mixed bag but with more positive than negative. On one hand she is demure, reserved and very well mannered. She is very sweet in a good way when she and main protagonist are alone. Her cat cosplay from her job is very cute. She is also a caring person who gets attached to people and animals and then go to great length to care for them. 

On the negative side, her attempt to be 'senior' to the male MC, lead and teach him something. She is technically older than him despite him being much taller than her. Senior role does not fit a girl in a relationship, even if she is older, she should not remember about the age and should just let him lead instead. In the end age is number, not a claim to authority. Lavender-chan too is much more fit the role of weak, protected and led girl as she is demure and soft.

Now for a negative of the show as whole, which are plenty. 

To begin with there is too much drama, I will write a separate article about why I hate drama. Everything takes too long, makes the show overall more of a chore to watch 90% of the time.   

Next it the setting. School merger where male MC school got abolished and merged into an all-female one and he is getting bad lip for that is unpleasant to watch to say the least. Its condescending towards male MC to treat him this way.

It does not get any better when attention shifts towards Kitty Club, using care for animals as part for character development to show that a girl in question is caring person is a good idea, but this show certainly takes it too far. Caring for animals becomes the main focus of the show and detracts attention from romance. Even final episode is not about male MC and Lavender-chan, but about show weird mascot Pannya-chan. There is a lot wrong with it: to being with you do not return animals to their parents, animals live on their own when they grow adult and so are people. Also, what Pannya even is: at first, it looked like weirdly drawn cat, but then we got actual cats that got two full episodes dedicated to their adoption.

Then other girls. Blonde and red head are both very unlikable. Both get more scree time than Ange, which is unfair to the best girl. Red head is a downright masochist choice and very repulsive for one who is not. Blonde is more nuanced, but she is far too entitled, and it makes her unpleasant. Her type is what people call thot or karen. Looking how male MC has to navigate around her many sentimentalities and standards is no pleasant sight either. It makes it even more sad that she is average fan favorite. I would not date either of them, it's better to be alone than to put up with either of these two antics.

Finally, a blue haired iumoto-chan, she is a baseline OK girl with neither good, nor bad traits. She is in the middle because only two girls in this show have more positive than negative.

Overall, this show is a slog. I can only recommend watching a couple of episodes focused on Ange (episodes 5 and 6) and then episode 11 for Lavender-chan. The rest of the show is a waste of your time.

What Makes Good Comedy

Recently I have been rewatching some of the comedy anime I watched and rated highly before. Overall, they felt less funny compared to when I watched them last time. Comedies do have diminishing return on rewatching. You remember best jokes well enough and hearing them ad infinite does not generates as much laughter as it used to when jokes were new. Moreover, you better notice various issues like some other jokes that are not funny, rudeness, unnecessary cruelty and other problems. 

What makes a good comedy is a tricky question. Different people have different tastes in humor: what is funny for one is not so for another. One might also grow up from some forms of humor and find certain jokes you used to laugh at in the past no longer funny. Different types of comedy have their own terms for them, like satire, dark humor, absurdity, self-deprecated humor and so on.

Here I would not talk about something called Romantic Comedy. This is something women like for some reason I cannot really understand. From my point of view comedy is all about laughing at something that is funny. This funny is more often than not is not sexy, its complete opposite of sexy. Because if someone does something, that certainly will not win them any affection, while being completely certain it will work, then it's funny and you can laugh at their stupidity. If they do something that will actually work, it can be useful to know but it will not be funny. 

In my case I like either dead pan absurdity where people do completely senseless things like it's perfectly normal or satire that makes fun of social issues and stupidity in real life. Anime that best represent this genre are Gintama, where they combine their idiocy, Excel Saga that calls itself Quack Experimental Anime, Nichijou that is very good at making their absurdity look like the most normal thing in the world and Kill Me Baby, that offers very common-sense solutions when characters expect something wild instead. Outside anime, movies by Zucker Brothers that often feature Leslie Nielsen fit this role best. British humor, particularly Monthy Python, Black Adder and Spitting Image do it well too.

As for comedy anime I did not like, then Azumanga Daioh because it makes fun of characters in a mean way for no good reason, there is nothing funny about Osaka and it's rude to make fun of her. Invader Ika Musume, because all jokes were too obvious to be funny, basically its dumb. Konosuba, because they think comedy is merely about being rude and for the most part ignored jokes altogether, one exception is headless horsemen trouble with noisy neighbors or something, I watched long ago so do not remember details, but there was a funny headless dude there. Nonetheless one joke is too litte to redeem Konosuba.

As to why watch comedy. To answer that question, I first need to talk about why it is good to laugh. That might seem self-explanatory, but I will iterate on it. Laughter makes you happier so something that makes you laugh is good and useful in itself. I had a friend that used to find funny things in pretty much anything around him. That allowed all of us to laugh, a lot. He even joked that if 1 minute of laughter extends life by 10 minutes then we will live forever. That is how much we laughed back then. I cannot know if he still laughs as much as we used to or not, maybe life got the best out of him and he too now fell into the same doom and gloom, unable to cope with fucked up reality around us. Now that I no longer have any contact with him, I watch comedy to bring back that laughter and lighten up life a little bit. 

In view of that it's sad that old favorites no longer shine as bright and bring as much laughter as they used to. Unlike other shows it's hard to be consistently good (in this case funny) in a comedy genre. Some jokes really make you laugh for minute or more. Others could not even put a faint smile on your face. 

Gintama always had a mixed bag of episodes, the best episodes produced more laughter time than episode runtime. Others just did not work. Watching it again made me pay more attention to what did not work. The excessive rudeness of characters, especially women, and unreasonable violence towards men is actually Gintama two big problems. When these things are mixed with a really ingenious and funny jokes, they go well enough, but without a good joke these things feel unpleasant, so unpleasant that I would have dropped Gintama altogether if not for the jokes.

Excel Saga seemed much less funny then how I remembered it, best jokes seemed missing altogether for some reason, but worst ones are still there. Again, too much unwarranted violence towards men. It was still good occasionally but far less so.

I do wonder why that was the case. Did my standards rose after I watched better shows? Did I started paying more attention to things I do not like? It's not like my tastes changed, but my perception of the show changed on balance. Before I thought it was more good than bad, now it seems bad outweighs the good for some reason.

Nonetheless I will still remember best Gintama jokes, like: to protect his identity we will cover his real name with <beep>, I am not <beep>, I am Katsura, writing in Kamchatkan, test to join Joi, using elder as weapon then complaining that other players use demon king as weapon, riding on a coffin, dying from hitting a sign, shed a skin and become a more evolved gorilla, aliens turning people into screwdrivers and then characters thinking it makes sense to work as truck drivers because their body parts were turned into screwdrivers, Nabeleon, girls like storms hurricanes and the like, writing love letter, what is this white thing, 24 hours inside out of control Shinsengumi, an assassin Gorilla 13, when these things will catch up with them, I will dump that pants pooping loser, Bentendo OwwEee que, all of the dialogue is funny, mayonnaise with mayonnaise, marathon evolved Taka-tin into a huge wrestler looking foreigner, answering quis correctly by asking to go to toilet, eating Arkraiser and then making deal of saving Earth for supply of Arkriser cartriges, what is this big white thing, its toilet paper, a ghost from the well that forget her kotatsu, Blureiko that makes everything blue instead of scary, Jump Samurai, why do you cook in my kitchen while playing that action music, loose-eared slut, chuubert assassins, temp Elizabeth that filled on Mondays, Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon that everyone recognises for some reason, catching space octopi is like daring a woman, most importantly is to show initiative, Space Captain Katsura, Zura development week, hardboiled, Abe-san, Mage on public hair, Pandemonium-san turning shy and cute, whole Barbershop saga was funny, Robot for doing business in space and more.

Fundamentally however a good comedy shows sharp mind and intelligence of the author. They can fool around, but they are actually much smarter than an average joe. It's like a secret code message that only smart people get (really get) and more stupid ones miss the point. That is something bad comedies seriously lacking as bad comedies are written by people too stupid to understand the message.