Formula One Teams Explained

Mercedes 

Average modern F1 team, a better ran variety. An outfit created by a large corporate entity to promote its products. Everything was thoroughly calculated to guarantee return on investment and profitability. In case of Mercedes no matter how expensive running an F1 team is, the advertisement opportunity and expose it creates pays for itself as Merc will be able to sell enough overpriced AMGs to suckers worldwide to recoup the costs and return profit, no srs.

Everything in Mercedes is well organised and thoroughly calculated to ensure this return on investment. The car practically drives itself. One radio conversation between Hamilton and his race engineer about "the magic button" literary admits it. The car is so well engineered it will literarily win the face for you, one just has to carefully drive it to the finish line without scratching, much less crashing into something. Any crashes give the entire Mercedes corporate board heart attacks, not only cars cost fortune but it's also bad for brand image. They want to associate their brand with security and reliability, and a crashed racing car is anti-thesis of that. 

That is why Mercedes is strictly anti-fun. Two guys fighting hard to overtake each other and win is why fans watch F1, but if they brake their expensive Mercs in process then its bad for business. That is why Toto Wolf fired Rosberg and eliminated one last intrigue the sport had until the rule change in 2022.

Ferrari 

The grand old team that was founded by a guy who "married a v12 engine and never divorced it". If Mercedes car maker created its F1 program to promote its road cars, then Enzo Ferrari is the opposite, it created its entire road car business with its many iconic cars only to finance its racing obsession. 

Everything in Ferrari is the opposite that of Mercedes. Mega revenues from selling Ferrari sportscars allows team to splurge irresponsibly on racing and they do so with complete irresponsibility. Ferrari can afford multiple parallel R&D programs for its engine alone and when they both fail they will just pay for two more. Crashes are Tuesday here. Team will easily forgive you for breaking its multibillion car but it will not forgive you if you do not try winning. Unlike Mercedes, the car is not engineered to just win races for you with its clever electronics but its fast and can allow you to win if you have what it takes. You drive Ferrari like you have a personal grunge against every single kerb on the track from slowing you down on your relentless push for victory. That is why Ferrari will never get rid of Leclerc; he is the epitome Ferrari-man who constantly pushes himself and the car to go tad bit faster. Also, Ferrari cheats like no tommorow because winning is more important than some stupid rules anyway. When caught they repaint their cars in white and blue as a protest and make regulators change their mind. 

Depends on your views on order and fiscal responsibility, Ferrari is either a unmitigated dumpster fire disaster or the only team on the grid with a soul and a passion for racing. Both the team and fans are completely self-aware of it all. Fans call themselves Tiffosi (as in sick with typhus) precisely for that reason. In Ferrari racing is passion and fuck the costs.

Audi 

If you ever wondered if one can be even more soulless, shrewd and calculated than Mercedes then you actually can. Mercedes does splurge on fun every once in a while, Audi strictly does not.

Audi's approach to F1 make even Toto Wolf look like a spendthrift. Merc convinced FIA to switch to engine rules favorable to them only after loosing for some time under previous rules. Audi negotiated engine rules favorable to themselves even before they entered the sport. After years of being McLaren engine suppliers Merc bought a one time miracle of Brawn GP for a unreasonably inflated price. Audi instead bought financially struggling but well run Swiss team for a budget price. To avoid associating its brand with being a backmarker during formative years, Audi run its team as Sauber for the first two years. Unlike Merc that pays for expensive overpriced racers, Audi only recruits those who are proven good but still cheap like Hulk or Bortoletto.

Audi is like Mercedes 2.0 but even more calculated and German. Even two out of three of their livery colours are the same: black and metallic. Though in Merc's case its metallic is aluminum and in Audi's is titanium instead. Audi might just achieve enough brand exposure on its rather small budget, that will make Merc's board envy.

Cadillac 

Cadillac is following in Audi footsteps while making all of the mistakes Audi avoided making. If you ever wondered why people think Americans are stupid, now you know.

To begin with unlike Audi, Cadillac races its 'John Deere years' as their own brand, potentially coping scalding videos from internet pundits in near future. Also unlike Audi Cadillac picked overhyped underperforming racers. Cheko was fast a half decade ago but he is now past his prime and too old to get back to its peak form. That is why Red Bull fired him. Meanwhile Bottas was never good and was only in Mercedes so that he does not compete with Hamilton like Rosberg and accidently break both cars.

Overall, it looks like Cadillac has no idea what it's doing and on its way to HRT, Spyker or Marussia level disaster. Then again, it's a new team so they might eventually learn things and start making smart moves like Lawrence Stroll in Aston Martin. 

However there is also American saying that 'there is no such thing as bad PR'. That is different from what Germans in Mercedes and Audi is thinking but may be Americans are right after all. In few years' time we can compare how much more Cadillac road cars have increased compare to that of Audi and be able to tell the winner of that philosophy of marketing debate. 

McLaren 

The Official British Team. It was founded by a Kiwi (New Zealandian) of Scottish origins and currently owned by Bahraini oil sheikhs. You cannot get any more British than that. What can be more British than taking something a Scot has created, giving a British iconic identity and looks, milking it dry and when its no longer performing sell it for a lot of money to someone found of British things like an oil sheikh or Roman Abramovich. The epitome of Britishness.

To paraphrase Abba, McLaren done it all and now is back to get some more. Its not as old as Ferrari but possibly had more impact on F1's history than the prancing horse. It was founded by Bruce McLaren as a personal racing entry during garage enthusiasts era when such teams were commonplace. Later in tobacco money era it was bought by Ron Dennis and with money from Phillip Morris made into one of the big winners. Some of the most famous F1 racers like Senna and Prost won in McLaren while wearing iconic Marlboro livery. When Marlboro got tired of Macs and switched to Ferrari, Ron Dennis found new suckers, I mean partners, in Mercedes, ushering equally iconic McLaren-Mercedes era with a different by equally iconic black and silver livery. When Mercedes got tired of Dennis and went on to create their own team (see above) McLaren went through some soul searching and eventually sold out to Bahrainis to continue racing in yet another iconic historical Papaya livery.

Aside from that McLaren had one and only two seater F1 car that they used to drive guests around the track in a one in a lifetime experience no other team cared to imitate. Also to capitalize on their F1 fame, McLaren once had a like of sport cars that looked like Lambo. 

McLaren embodies both the highs and lows of F1. It was implicated in worst scandals and got its partners disillusioned with their conduct, but they also produced F1's most iconic rivalry between Senna and Prost as well as its most iconic liveries second only to Lotus John Player's Special. If one team summarises F1 in itself, its probably them.

Williams

The Underdog British Team. A team that was run a a very stubborn man in a wheelchair who just refused to give up and quit already.

Frank Williams original F1 entry was shut down by his partner, named Wolf (not Toto Wolf yet), who got disillusioned after few years of failure. Frank went on to create another team to continue racing. When tobacco makers quit F1 and other private owners like Frank sold their teams, understanding that without tobacco money they will not be able to make it work, Frank stayed. When he got too old to run a team, he got his daughter to run it for him. When he finally run out of ideas and was forced to sell to another Wolf, Toto Wolf this time, he died in less than year afterwards. I guess one cannot escape fate, but can still delay it for more than 40 years. Frank Williams out of F1 is like fish out of water.

Aside from usual struggle, Williams had a successful period when they dominated the F1. In 80s and especially early-mid 90s they had a lucky break from using then still new and untested computer technology to get an edge other teams could not even dream of. FW15C is often called the best F1 car out there and its livery became iconic despite being just a mix of different sponsors logos on different background because they each wanted to stand out from each other. See HP on Ferrari to get the idea.

Aside from stubborn refusal to quit, Williams is one of the most frugal and cynical teams out there. Most of the time livery was white background with logos of all the sponsors Frank could find and sign, other times it was an eclectic mix of different sponsor's colours. Frank is probably the only team boss who kicked out reigning world champion right after he secured the crown just because he knew that with his technology he could win with a cheaper racer at the helm.

Williams has fewer and less visible fans than either Ferrari or McLaren, but they are often the most dedicated and rich ones and some of them have money to actually salvage the team.

Nowadays team is owned by officially undisclosed entity, but likely by Toto Wolf, and used as Mercedes second team, kind of like VCARB for Red Bull.

Red Bull 

Red Bull is a Mercedes that pretends it's a Ferrari. Underneath the wild identity that extols speed and extremes there are calculated corporate machine that made Red Bull energy drink the global success and inspired many energy drink competitors.

Unlike Mercedes who promotes cars, Red Bull promotes an energy drink. That means the Bulls do not need to care for associating their brand with safety, reliability and respect. Far from it, Red Bull's corporate identity is build on extoling sport and extremes in order to associate their energy drink with these things. Because of that an F1 was a suitable place to promote the product. F1 has speed, glamour, money and what not. Dietrich Mateschitz figured people will pay big money to drink it from a can and they did. Despite all the expenses on F1 and many other sport teams the Red Bull owns, the company makes record profits. Many wish they were as fast as Verstappen. A more savvy ones wish they had as much business savvy as Mateschitz.

Due to different corporate identity Red Bull can benefit from more aggressive racing and conduct of its racers and personnel. Even various scandals could be just another PR opportunity rather than a blemish on brand reputation. Thanks to that Red Bull races aggressively like Ferrari and Max Verstappen has more in common with Leclerc than with Hamilton. One can call it a golden middle ground between too sober and boring Mercedes and too much passion for their own good Ferrari.

Red Bull was not the first corporate entity that ran an F1 team to promote its brand but arguably first that actually succeeded. That led towards other corporate entries like Mercedes, Audi, Cadillac that by now dominate the sport in this current works corporate teams.

Alpine 

Alpine is a Ferrari that pretends its Mercedes. It pioneered the idea of using F1 to promote their car brand. It failed because its unreliable and Renault does not make any sport cars that can benefit from such promotion.

Until settling on name Alpine, the team had many names but its begun as Renault back in early 70s when after being ridiculed for designing "a pear car", Renault decided to prove that they are not -a beholder- a joke and can make fast and cool cars. Back then their cars featured innovative and theoretically fast turbocharged engine. The cars were fast but unreliable and F1 insiders nicknamed them "yellow teapots" because of the iconic white smoke that they emit when their engine overheats too much and dies.

Unable to take ridicule, Renault quit but not really quit: renamed the team, sold to affiliated businessmen to look after it and keep foot in the door and went back to drawing board. Ever since Renault altering between returns and quitting again. They won a few times too, half of that time as Benetton with legendary Schumacher as their racer. And every time under leadership of a man as scandalous as Jeffrey Epstein, Flavio Briatore, as its team boss. He runs the team even today.

Unlike Mercedes, Alpine does not have a cohesive strategy to even run a team, much less win. Both their engines and other engineering innovations are hit and miss. Other teams like Red Bull and Williams make a much better use of their engines then they themselves are and win when works team flounders. Unlit a while ago, Renault did not even had a sport car brand they could use their F1 entity to promote, that was rectified only 50s years after their initial entry into F1 with creation of Alpine. 

Alpine acts corporate like they have a plan, but they really are in it because they want to beat those pesky Italians, Brits and Germans and show them that French are strong and fast and not "frog eating surrender monkeys" Americans call them. The results do speak for themselves I guess. Sacre Bleu. 

VCARB

Red Bull second team. Most Red Bull racers begin here and have to prove themselves in this team to be promoted into the main team. Occasionally racers also get demoted to here from the main team. It has a different name and livery from the main team but, the same Red Bull brand logo is inscribed on both of them, and they promote the same energy drink brand.

By now Red Bull completely gave up pretending its a separate team. Both main and second team share the same motorhome, offices of management and other personnel are in the same place, their racers hand out together and live next to each other. VCARB exist so that Red Bull can have 4 racers instead of 2 and double the number of engineers and the financial cap as legally they still count as separate teams. The only reason Ferrari and Mercedes are not protesting this is because they also doing the same thing, but more discreetly (see Williams and Haas).

After running for some time as Toro Rosso and then Alpha Tauri, the team settled for a VCARB generic name. Visa Cash App Racing Bulls. That way Red Bull can still promote their energy drink brand while also giving some advertisement space to Visa for its Cash App, because money.  

Haas

Haas is Ferrari's second team. The same thing as VCARB is for Red Bull, see above. Originally it was an attempt to bring an American team to the sport. To cut corners they used Ferrari equipment, tethering the future team to the grand old team. 

Early on Haas was led by 'charismatic' Gunter Steiner mostly because IndyCar teams are famous for their charismatic leaders/owners. In F1 however it charisma alone does not win anything aside from fans. Eventually after Ferrari's original second team Sauber/Alfa Romeo went on to become Audi, Ferrari needed a replacement and double down on investing into Haas. By now Haas is run by a 'former' Ferrari engineer and employs half of Ferrari engineering personnel in at attempt to double effective cost cap by distributing development between two technically independent teams. Toto Wolf is not protesting because he is doing it too, but more discreetly (see Williams). 

Unlike VCARB Haas still has its own motorhomes, even if ex-Ferrari ones painted white, red and black. So far cars do not feature Corsa Rossa or Prancing Horse. I would bet that Ferrari will retain American look and feel of the team.

Aston Martin

Aston begun as a pet peeve or Lawrence Stroll to give his talentless butt of many F1 jokes son a ride in F1. Then, one sunny afternoon, everything changed.

At first Aston did not amount to much. The only exception was when, while still Racing Point (old name), it copied Mercedes once and got 3rd in constructors cup, was fined for infringement and told not to do so again. For a while it looked like Aston would remain just another midfield Mercedes client run by a clueless rich guy. 

Then suddenly everything changed. Adrian Newey announced leaving Red Bull for Aston and Honda announced they will make an engine for it. Yes, the very same Newey that build championship winning cars for Williams, then McLaren and finally Red Bull. He brought success everywhere he went and now he is at Aston, without him Red Bull is already falling apart, just like two other teams he left before. To top it up Aston stopped being a client of Mercedes and became a works team with an engine maker that powered championship winning McLarens of Senna and Prost and recently Red Bull of Max Verstappen. Suddenly Lawrence Stroll showed that he may be a slow learner, but he learns and then makes killer moves. Newey and Honda are a bid for winning championships, not just being a midfielder. 

Early results of Aston partnership with Newey and Honda leave to be desired, but such a big change would always require some time to get used to working together, so it's too early to judge from few early races.

Aston Martin is a racing bulldozer that, while slow, might one day crush all its opponents together with the all the intrigue and even the sport itself under the sheer weight of its financial tracks. One day Lawrence Stroll might just hire everyone worthwhile in F1 to work for Aston, completely gutting out all other teams. If Aston will ever become champion, we will know that speed, racing prove-ness, engineering genius, strategy, tactics, fame, renown, charisma and even Bahraini oil money are completely powerless in face of overwhelming might of even more Saudi oil money. That will be like an end of the world, Ragnarök of F1, as the sport will die that day.